Chapter 34
34
An Excuse to Shatter Her Heart
Kyle’s face bloomed with a warm smile like sunset glow when he spotted Leila walking along the forest path with steady footsteps.
“Leila!”
Her head snapped up with a sparkle at his loud call of her name. Her eyes widened upon seeing him—a moment Kyle cherished beyond words. The way Leila’s steps quickened at the sight of him. The way she approached lightly and flashed that sweet smile.
“When did you get here?”
“Just a bit ago. I went to the cottage and heard you’d been summoned to the duke’s mansion, so I was on my way to rescue you.”
“Rescue?”
“It’s obvious. The reason Lady Brandt called for you.”
“It wasn’t her today.”
Leila smiled and took a step forward. Kyle matched her pace and began walking slowly beside her.
“It was Lady Norma who summoned me.”
“Lady Norma? You?”
“Yes. She congratulated me on passing and asked if there was any gift I wanted.”
“What did you say?”
“That I didn’t need anything. That I was already grateful just to be allowed to stay here.”
“A very Leila Llewellyn sort of answer.”
As if he’d expected it, Kyle just let out a light chuckle. Even when he gently took her hand, Leila no longer tensed up like she used to. That small change swelled his happiness.
Hand in hand, they walked the familiar path together. They talked of the day’s routine, the mystery novel in today’s paper, their modest plans for the summer. Intimate conversations no different from any other day accompanied their side-by-side steps. In the meantime, twilight fell.
The forest darkened quickly, and Kyle decided to draw courage from that gloom.
He tugged firmly on Leila’s hand. She stumbled, leaning her back against a tall tree by the path, and Kyle stood facing her. It all happened in the blink of an eye, yet to him, it felt like an eternity.
“Kyle?”
Leila’s flustered voice trembled faintly. Her crimson lips shone vividly even in the clear darkness.
Kyle squeezed his eyes shut, gathering every ounce of courage he possessed, and bowed his head. Soon, warm skin touched his lips—but the sensation was not what he’d anticipated.
When Kyle slowly opened his eyes, he ended up chuckling despite himself. What had touched his lips was the back of Leila’s hand. Her face flushed bright red, she was staring at him with her own hand firmly covering her mouth.
“I… this feels kind of weird, Kyle.”
As Kyle slowly lifted his head, Leila mumbled haltingly.
“When we do this, it kind of feels like we’re doing something bad, and I…”
Unable to continue, Leila hesitated and quietly lowered her gaze. Her pale, long lashes drifted downward as well.
Don’t you think this is even worse?
Kyle swallowed the urge to retort and let out another dry chuckle. His own cheeks were now as red as hers.
“Hey, Miss Llewellyn. What do you know about kisses?”
“Huh?”
“You were talking so big on the train like you knew everything.”
“What… Oh.”
As if the memory had finally surfaced—the day she’d made him want to leap from the moving train with her talk of reproductive acts—Leila let out a small sigh.
“That was…”
Her eyes rolled as she pondered, but in the end, she seemed unable to find the right words and swallowed dryly.
“I don’t really know.”
That habit of hers, whispering whenever she was at a disadvantage, hadn’t changed a bit since the first day they’d met.
Kyle felt his energy drain away as he let out a soft sigh. It was pathetic, his inability to even properly kiss the woman he was about to marry, but he didn’t hate it that much. What Kyle wanted most was Leila’s heart. He couldn’t hurt it in a sweep of passion.
Kyle gently stroked Leila’s cheeks, cradled in both his hands. Then he pressed his heated lips to her smooth forehead. He strained with all his might not to go further, and in the end, he kept his vow.
As he drew in a slow breath, a sweet rose scent seeped deep into his lungs. It was Leila’s fragrance.
After finishing his shower, Mathias slowly approached the window on the west side of the bedroom.
His routine was precise. He woke at roughly the same early hour each morning, no dawdling. He headed straight to the bathroom, showered for a set time, and began his day. It was a habit that happened almost automatically, without any special effort.
Perhaps this very moment was no different.
With a gaze tinged with faint self-mockery, Mathias looked down beyond the open window.
There, in his rose-filled garden as if it were the most natural thing, was Leila. Was it because her departure drew near? She was following the gardener out far more often than before, never leaving his side even for a moment as she chattered away busily.
Once, he’d thought Leila Llewellyn was an utterly quiet child. She was one who rarely opened her tightly pressed lips in front of him or Claudine.
“Master, it’s Hessen.”
At the appointed time, the familiar knock sounded.
“Come in.”
With his back to the window, Mathias answered curtly. The thin curtains swayed in the breeze passing through the still-open window.
As he read the newspaper Hessen had brought, Mathias listened to the report on the day’s schedule. There was ample free time before luncheon.
“With the master returned, Arbis finally feels truly complete.”
Instead of withdrawing quietly as usual, Hessen added a remark.
Mathias set down the teacup he’d been holding and turned to face him.
“My grandmother and mother might feel slighted if they heard that.”
“Pardon? Oh, no, Master, that’s not what I meant…”
“I know.”
A smile flitted across Mathias’s lips.
“I know exactly what you mean.”
The brief smile soon vanished, but the gaze he turned on the middle-aged butler was as serene as a windless water surface. Relieved by the lack of displeasure in his eyes, Hessen hurried away.
Even after the bedroom door closed, Mathias continued reading the paper while leaning against the window frame. The eyes visible through his fallen hair appeared lighter in hue, touched by the sunlight.
After meticulously reading the article on Count Klein’s business—the man he would lunch with—Mathias finally set the paper aside. As he slowly turned, he saw Leila, who had approached as far as the flower beds near the mansion. Beneath that straw hat he’d fished from the river, her hair, braided into one, swayed.
The gardener said something, and Leila replied excitedly. Then she laughed. He could tell even without seeing her face in the hat’s shadow. Leila was laughing out loud.
Mathias narrowed his eyes and slowly brushed his hair back.
Perhaps he shouldn’t have returned at all?
The thought had struck him from the moment he’d set foot in the territory.
His life consisted of meticulous plans. They were like perfect stairs leading to an impeccable existence—one simply had to ascend them steadily.
But those stairs had gone askew.
Mathias still couldn’t quite understand himself for making a choice that defied his plans.
No. Perhaps it had been that way even before that night he’d torn up the service extension application. The day he’d decided on one more year of service and postponed his marriage. The day he’d finally been swept away by a petty desire. The day he’d approached the fallen bicycle. Or perhaps some day beyond the reach of memory.
I still desire you.
Mathias knew well the true nature of his emotions.
Therefore, I want you gone.
He knew that wish was sincere as well.
This turmoil was born from the chasm between scorching emotion and desperate longing. He couldn’t arrive at a clear answer, but in the end, time would resolve it.
Mathias closed the window and changed his clothes. As he passed through the corridor with wide strides, the shadow of the window slid overhead.
Having dismissed his attendants, Mathias left the mansion alone and walked the forest path leading to the river. The brighter the light, the deeper the shadows.
In that profound shade cast by the forest, Mathias paused, momentarily lost in a daze.
He had never truly wanted anything before, and thus knew nothing of longing. But it flashed through his mind then—something even more alien than that.
There was no such thing as failing to obtain what one desired.
As he drew nearer to the gardener’s cottage, Daniel Rayner’s complexion grew ever paler. It wasn’t yet that hot in the sun, but sweat already drenched his forehead.
“This is insane.”
As the cottage roof came into view in the distance, Daniel muttered in despair.
Mrs. Etman had said she wanted to hold onto the gardener’s tuition money temporarily. Strip away the plausible packaging, and it was nothing but theft.
The noble and elegant Linda Etman, urging her cousin to steal from him. All for the singular desire to separate that poor girl from her son.
Daniel Rayner, stepping into the cottage’s front yard before he knew it, pulled the handkerchief from his pocket again and wiped his face. The hand clutching the briefcase kept twitching.
He had thought it tragic that Kyle had fallen hard for a woman so beneath his station and decided to marry her. Everyone had expected the Etman family to bring in a daughter from a lower noble house as a daughter-in-law.
But Kyle had wanted it sincerely, Dr. Etman supported it, and above all, he’d thought that Leila girl wasn’t so bad and acquiesced. He’d assumed Mrs. Etman felt the same. Who could have known? That she’d hide such a dagger behind her kind smile.
“Money’s the enemy.”
After a moment sunk in lament, Daniel strode toward the cottage with resolve.
Linda Etman had said the house would be empty in the mornings. If Leila was still there, he could just say he’d dropped by the Etman house and come to congratulate her on her university acceptance. It wouldn’t be an awkward excuse since they already knew each other.
Hoping she’d be there and the plan would fall through, he knocked on the door—but the house was silent.
Tasting both despair and resignation at once, Daniel opened the front door. As his sister had said, it wasn’t locked.
‘But Sister, if the tuition money is stolen, someone will step in to provide it instead. Dr. Etman alone would gladly cover it on the spot.’
When he’d protested in bewilderment, Linda Etman had given a bitter smile.
‘Do you think I know my husband less than you do?’
‘But why on earth…’
‘The missing tuition is just an excuse.’
‘An excuse?’
‘An excuse to shatter that child’s heart.’
Her low reply was laced with a sigh.
Daniel could only blink slowly, unable to retort. If it was a straw he had no choice but to grasp anyway, he didn’t want to know more. Knowing even that much would only deepen his disillusionment and self-loathing.
He was simply helping his cousin hold onto the gardener’s money temporarily. Repeating that self-justification to himself, Daniel Rayner stepped inside the cottage.
It didn’t take long to complete his task. As he emerged with the bag stuffed full of money, he actually felt a sense of relief. The die had been cast, and his role in this game ended here. All he had to do was deliver this distasteful money to Linda Etman quickly, collect his reward for saving the mortgaged house, and be done.
To avoid possibly running into the gardener, Daniel Rayner chose the path looping around by the riverbank. But that cautious choice ended up leading him into trouble instead. He realized it only after encountering a young man by the river.
Upon spotting Daniel Rayner, the man halted his leisurely steps. Without any wariness or surprise, he simply stared straight at him.
A servant from Arbis, perhaps?
Daniel felt brief relief at his calm reaction, but soon his face drained to an earthen hue.
No servant would be strolling the riverbank at this busy hour starting the day, dressed so casually in just a shirt. Moreover, the young man’s face was unmistakably familiar.
The face that had appeared countless times in the papers, one he’d glimpsed from afar several times—it was unmistakably the Duke of Herhardt.
