Chapter 31
31
The Affectionate Cold-Blooded Man
Was it because the coin had missed its mark?
When Leila heard the news that Duke Herhardt was returning, that was the first thing she thought of.
He had clearly said he would serve one more year in the Imperial Guard, yet here he was, back already. He was wrapping up his life of commuting to the capital and would now remain in the estate for good. Elderly Lady Norma wanted her grandson to manage the territory and stay by her side. It seemed he could no longer turn a blind eye to her wishes.
Whatever.
Leila stretched long and hard before tying her apron tightly. It was a matter for a world that no longer concerned her, something utterly irrelevant. All she regretted was the missed coin and the wish that had gone unfulfilled.
‘Please let me never have to see Duke Herhardt again.’
As she fervently prayed while tossing the last gold coin he had left behind.
After departing the estate last summer, he hadn’t visited once in the nearly year since. She had thought those days would continue until the end of his Guard service. If only Leila Llewellyn could leave Arbis before then, her wish would come true.
Leila shook her head, lost in thought for a moment, then headed to the backyard. Perhaps wishes did come true in the end. The duke might be returning, but she would be leaving this forest.
With a much lighter heart, Leila tended to the livestock and the kitchen garden. It was just as she finished her morning chores that Phoebe, the mountain pigeon who had flown to the Etmans’, returned. Tied to Phoebe’s leg was a letter from Kyle.
Mom wants to invite you to dinner tonight.
See, Leila? Didn’t I tell you?
It was a letter that almost seemed to carry Kyle’s voice.
To the worried Leila, Kyle had assured her that his mother would surely come to like her too. Everything would work out fine. By autumn, they’d be married, strolling the university grounds together. Happily, so very happily.
“Uncle Bill, I’ll be having dinner at the Etmans’ tonight.”
Leila hurried over to Uncle Bill, who had just returned.
“Mrs. Etman invited me.”
“See, Leila.”
His voice boomed just like Kyle’s, saying the same thing.
“I told you it’d all work out.”
Uncle Bill laughed heartily, and Leila smiled softly in return.
Her heart pounded. She decided to call it anticipation.
Matthias arrived in Arbis in the late afternoon. As the carriage carrying him pulled up in front of the manor, a wave of tension rippled through the lined-up servants.
Nothing out of the ordinary. Polite greetings followed, along with his responses, his grandmother’s joy, and his mother’s smile.
As he passed the gardener, Matthias instinctively glanced down. Next to the gardener’s large boots was a small, neatly shod foot in brown shoes. Leila Llewellyn was always at Bill Lemmer’s side. Though that wouldn’t be the case after this summer.
Without turning his head, Matthias walked past the gardener. His gaze returned forward, to the stairs leading to the lobby hall.
“That bird came back with you too.”
Elise von Herhardt let out a light laugh upon seeing the golden cage held by his valet following behind. Inside was the canary Matthias had taken when he left Arbis last summer.
“What an odd thing. You, who never kept even a dog by your side, suddenly doting on a bird.”
“If you’ve taken a liking to birds, why not expand the greenhouse and keep a variety?” Lady Norma chimed in with a smile.
“That’s fine, Grandmother.”
Matthias replied with a smile of his own.
“One is enough.”
With that simple, dry response, Matthias entered the manor.
Before ascending the stairs, he looked up at the grand chandelier. Beyond it, the Herhardt crest adorning the soaring ceiling.
He had been born under that crest, lived under it, and would one day close his eyes under it. It was still as natural as breathing—and just as effortless.
Lowering his gaze, Matthias took large strides up the stairs.
“If he was going to be discharged this year anyway, then why on earth did he say he’d serve one more year?”
Countess Brandt grumbled in a voice that made no effort to hide her irritation.
She had been the first to suggest extending the engagement by a year, entirely out of respect for Duke Herhardt’s choice. Had she known things would turn out like this, she would have pushed through the wedding before summer’s end, no matter what.
“I never knew Matthias was the type to be so capricious.”
“The marriage has already been postponed, but Duke Herhardt returning to the estate early is a good thing, Mother.”
Claudine’s face showed not a hint of upset.
“You’re so unflappable. Here I am, anxious that we won’t have the wedding this year.”
“Is there any need to worry? It’s better to take our time and prepare properly than to rush into a sloppy ceremony.”
“One year is a long time, Claudine. Who knows what variables might crop up?”
“Think back on the past year, Mother. It was short, and peaceful. It’ll just be another year like that. With Duke Herhardt staying in the estate, preparations will be easier too.”
“Claudine, men aren’t to be trusted, and an engagement isn’t as binding as marriage.”
“That man is Matthias von Herhardt, Mother.”
Claudine even smiled calmly now.
“A man who will never love anyone but himself his whole life—Duke Herhardt.”
If she hadn’t heard the news of Leila marrying the family doctor’s son, Claudine might have felt a twinge of unease too. But now that the variable named Leila Llewellyn was gone, her mother’s worries were nothing more than old-womanish fretting.
“To him, this engagement is a matter of Herhardt pride. There’s no way any variable could shatter it.”
Claudine stated firmly as she tidied her embroidery hoop.
The affectionate cold-blooded man.
Matthias had always been that way, ever since they were children. While his other cousins teased and played mean pranks on her at every turn, he was always polite and kind. Which only made him feel all the more distant and unapproachable.
Did that man even have emotions?
Claudine sometimes wondered.
She could hardly imagine Matthias swept up in anger, sorrow, or joy—overcome by passion. He seemed the type to gaze down upon the world to his last breath, wearing that arrogant, elegant smile. And Claudine wanted precisely that Matthias von Herhardt.
“I’ll have to visit Arbis sometime next week.”
Claudine rose from the sofa with a much lighter heart.
“I can see Duke Herhardt and congratulate my soon-to-be-married friend. Kill two birds with one stone.”
“Your soon-to-be-married friend? Good heavens. You don’t mean that orphan girl from the gardener’s, do you?”
Countess Brandt’s face hardened, but Claudine smiled languidly, as if to show off.
“Leila is my friend. I should give my old friend a wedding gift, at least.”
After much deliberation, Leila chose the white dress she had bought for her exam in Ratz. She braided her hair neatly and tied her favorite ribbon at the end.
It wasn’t her first time visiting the Etmans’, yet she felt nervous and tense as if it were. Knowing this was an invitation from Kyle’s mother, with their marriage in mind, only heightened it.
“How do I look, Uncle Bill?”
Leila stepped out of her room and stood before Bill with a serious expression. He was lounging by the open window, smoking leisurely, and he burst out laughing as he looked at her.
“Getting all dolled up like you’ve never done before, now that marriage is on the horizon.”
“It’s not that—I’m just nervous about seeing Mrs. Etman.”
“No need for that. It’s not like you’ve only met her once or twice.”
“But today’s a special occasion.”
“Nothing to pick at. Don’t worry.”
As he stubbed out his cigarette and stood, Bill’s face broke into a warm, affectionate smile.
“Just be yourself, Leila. That’s more than enough.”
His hand, wrapping around her shoulder, was as warm as his smile.
She knew it was highly subjective and not entirely reliable praise, but Leila nodded with a smile. With her mind a bit eased, she suddenly realized how anxious and jittery she’d been all day. That was when Kyle arrived at the cottage.
“Kyle, do I…?”
“Perfect.”
Before Leila could even finish her question, Kyle answered firmly.
“You as you are—that’s more than enough.”
Kyle’s smile was as warm as Uncle Bill’s.
“That’s all I need, Leila.”
“Hmm. Sounds exactly like what a certain man told me.”
At the identical words from the two people with such similar smiles, Leila couldn’t help but laugh.
“What? Who? Which guy?”
“Quit your yapping and let’s get going, you little punk.”
Bill slapped Kyle’s back hard. Caught off guard, Kyle stumbled and turned around, his face scrunched up.
“But Uncle Bill, right now some idiot is—”
“That idiot’s me!”
“Wait, so… uh, yes?”
“You ill-mannered little glutton. Maybe I need to rethink handing Leila over to the likes of you.”
Despite his gruff tone, Bill Lemmer’s hand patting Kyle’s shoulder was quite affectionate. Leila watched the two bickering from a few steps away.
The two people she loved most in this world. Her precious two. The two she wanted to protect. A slow smile spread across her lips, warming her heart. To Leila, Uncle Bill and Kyle had always been that way. She could no longer imagine a life without them.
That was why she had finally resolved to marry after so long hesitating. Days of Kyle proposing and Leila refusing had stretched on, gradually straining their relationship. If she couldn’t accept his feelings, distancing herself was the right thing to do. Kyle had tried tirelessly to close the gap, but once the proposal was out there, they really only had two choices left.
Marriage, or becoming strangers.
Leila’s wish to keep a proper distance, grow up together, and remain dear friends forever had become meaningless. Through the past autumn, winter, and into spring, that fact had hurt her heart.
Marriage, the future Kyle spoke of—it all felt so vague to Leila. She feared overreaching her bounds with excessive greed. But if marrying him was the only way not to lose Kyle, then she wanted to muster her courage.
She had made that decision in late spring, after being humiliated by Duke Herhardt and sobbing her heart out. That evening, as she tossed the gold coin into the fountain because she wanted nothing he had left behind—right at the moment she faced Kyle, who had come looking for her.
Facing Kyle had made her tearful, aching heart fade away. It was just like the cottage’s light. The warm glow of home where Uncle Bill waited, visible after passing through the dark forest path. The light that soothed every sorrow and wound the world beyond the forest had given her.
As always, Kyle and Bill’s pointless squabble ended in cheerful laughter. With the echo of that laughter still on his face, Kyle turned to Leila.
“Let’s go, Leila.”
As if it were the most natural thing, Kyle held out his hand. Leila hesitated before lightly grasping the tips of his fingers. Kyle, watching her quietly, smiled and adjusted his grip. Fully, enveloping hers.
The changed relationship still felt awkward and embarrassing, but Leila didn’t pull her hand away. Because it was Kyle—the one she didn’t want to lose.
