Chapter 14
14
Desires That Woman
In his gaze, Leila trembled helplessly.
Even when pretending to be bold, she’s actually terribly timid.
Recalling the form of Leila Llewellyn, who’d always been that way since childhood, Mathias stepped forward with steady footfalls. He stopped at about a pace’s distance, and Leila’s eyes turned toward his hand. Precisely, toward her glasses clutched in his grasp.
“I’m sorry……”
Leila barely parted her lips. Her eyes blazed with considerable anger, but her words of apology were polite.
“I didn’t think the Duke would be here. I’m truly sorry……”
“If I’m not here, is it fine to barge in anyway?”
Mathias tilted his head askew as he looked at her. With each blink of her large eyes, the shadow of her lashes flickered over her reddened eyelids. Her face looked on the verge of tears, yet her gaze remained rigidly defiant.
“Like…… a thief?”
Mathias slipped a hint of mockery into his low voice. Leila’s cheeks flushed crimson even in the darkness.
“I just wanted to take back what was mine.”
“Ah. This?”
When he held up the glasses, Leila’s cheeks burned even hotter. Upon closer inspection, the corners of her eyes and her earlobes were red as well.
“Yes.”
For all that, her reply came out rather pert.
“My glasses, the ones the Duke hid.”
And yet she trembled all over.
Still gripping the glasses, Mathias turned toward the window. It was the very same window where he’d flung her hat into the river below.
“Ah, no!”
Leila, who had been staring blankly, paled in horror and chased after him.
“Give them back! Please!”
The shawl draped over Leila’s shoulders slipped down to the floorboards. Noticing too late, she frantically raised both arms to cover her deeply plunging neckline.
“After I’ve seen every inch of your body, isn’t it a little ridiculous to make such a fuss over mere pajamas?”
Mathias snickered as he gazed down at Leila, whose nape had flushed red to match.
“……That, that couldn’t be helped!”
The panicked Leila shook her head vigorously.
“It wasn’t what I wanted—I had no choice either……”
“And was it what I wanted?”
“Pardon? Ah…… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
Leila scrambled to retrieve the shawl and draped it over her shoulders and chest. Her half-dazed expression was so comical that Mathias let out a low chuckle.
“Why the sudden act like a proper lady? You’re not one, remember?”
“……No matter what I am, you’re a gentleman, Duke.”
Her unyielding retort sounded polite yet provocative. Mathias burst into laughter once more.
“Well.”
As his laughter subsided, Mathias’s voice dropped even lower.
“Who knows, Leila. I might not be a gentleman after all.”
“Ah, no!”
Leila, having securely knotted the shawl’s ends, cried out desperately.
“The Duke is a gentleman!”
“Am I?”
“Yes! The finest gentleman in all of Kalsbar!”
“That’s quite the generous assessment.”
“Everyone who knows the Duke would agree.”
“Not you?”
“……No.”
Yes!
Stifling the fervent truth she wanted to shout, Leila shook her head vigorously.
“Of course not.”
Leila Llewellyn had sold her soul tonight for her glasses.
“So, Duke, please give them back.”
Tears pricking from sheer frustration and injustice, Leila pleaded once more.
“They’re truly precious and important to me.”
Enduring the humiliation, she even bowed her head.
She felt like she could kick every stone in this forest, but Leila knew all too well how disadvantaged she was.
If he so chose, the Duke of Herhardt could easily brand her a thief. He could toss the glasses straight into the river beyond the window. What was effortless for him would be utterly devastating for her.
So she had to endure.
As Leila steeled herself once more, Mathias approached, catching the glasses he’d tossed into the air. With that final step closing the last gap, the space between them was intimate enough to feel each other’s body heat.
Leila looked up in startlement. The eyes gazing down at her were deep and serene—like fathomless water. Like the deep, cold river that had engulfed her that sweltering afternoon when all her misfortunes began.
Lost in the thought, Leila’s vision suddenly sharpened. Only then did she realize Mathias had slipped the glasses onto her face. The hand gently cupping her cheek was hot and soft, like sun-warmed sand.
He stood in crystal clarity, while everything else blurred.
The flustered Leila tried to look away, but Mathias pressed the hand on her cheek, compelling her gaze back to his.
Why……
She wanted to ask, but an unfamiliar, frightening sensation overwhelmed her. It was then that his hand brushed her lips.
His fingertips, moving languidly, paused between her slightly parted lips. His exhaled sigh tickled her forehead. His breath was as hot and gentle as his touch.
Holding her gaze, Mathias traced the inner side of her lower lip, the moist, tender flesh there. His fingernail dipped deep enough to graze her teeth before withdrawing, only to repeat. Leila, having forgotten even how to flee, could only endure that gaze and touch defenselessly.
Amid the baffling intimacy that made her want to break down in tears, Mathias slowly closed his eyes. The hand gripping her chin tightened briefly, then released.
When his hand finally let go of her face, Leila staggered backward. The suffocating pain of barely breathing under his hold crashed over her belatedly.
Leila trembled faintly as she panted for breath. In that moment, Mathias opened his eyes. Those detached blue eyes filled her with shame and fear.
After staring at her for a long while longer, the Duke of Herhardt issued a low command.
“Go.”
Leila could scarcely remember the time it took to flee the annexe after that.
She must have bowed, turned away, walked and walked some more—but every memory was hazy. It wasn’t until she registered the cool breeze, the chirping of crickets, and her own shadow under the moonlight that she realized she was already at the forest’s edge.
Still dazed, Leila made her way to the cottage. She neither vented her frustration on stones and branches as usual nor ran as if escaping—she simply walked. Her steps were slower than normal, weightless as a ghost’s.
Leila pumped water from the pump in the yard’s corner and washed her face. Her lips, rubbed unconsciously over and over, swelled red. Even after scrubbing until her skin stung, that strange sensation refused to fade.
By the time she quietly returned to her room, her face, shawl, and the front of her pajamas were soaked with cold water. Without even thinking to dry them, Leila sat blankly at the foot of the bed.
She had no idea what had just happened, but one thing she knew for certain.
She never wanted to face him again.
With a light snap of his fingers, the canary perched obediently in its cage fluttered over.
Leaning languidly against the window frame, Mathias extended his hand toward the bird. The canary alighted on his finger as if it were the most natural thing. The feathers of its clipped wings had grown out enough for it to fly a bit farther now. It would need trimming again, but not quite as short as before.
Listening to the canary’s song, Mathias gazed out the window. Gardener Bill Leamer was hard at work below. The figure of Leila Llewellyn, who had helped him constantly, had been absent for days now—ever since the night she’d come searching for her glasses. Ever since she’d begun desperately avoiding him.
Mathias returned the canary to its cage, then donned the red jacket of his hunting attire.
Desires that woman.
By now, Mathias knew precisely what this emotion was.
He desired that woman—Leila.
There was no longer any reason to deny it. Leila Llewellyn had grown into a beautiful woman, one more than sufficient to stir a man’s desires. But Mathias also knew the truth: desires like this were fleeting, blooming briefly before fading away.
Was it worth leaving a blemish on his life just to satisfy something so trivial?
That night, with Leila right before him, Mathias had pondered long and hard. And reached a conclusion.
No.
Leila Llewellyn was not worth it, and his desire for her was well within his ability to control.
So why bother.
With that dispassionate resolution, he had let her go. Though letting her flee too far away was, well…
“Hunting preparations are complete, Master.”
Hessen approached quietly to report. With a nod, Mathias took the rifle handed to him and left the bedroom.
“Is something wrong?”
Kyle stared intently at Leila, his tone laced with concern. Leila, in the midst of pasting dried wildflower petals into her notebook, lifted her gaze calmly to meet his.
“No.”
Her prompt reply rang out as clear and steady as ever.
“You look it.”
When he pressed, he lowered his voice to a whisper, his eyes narrowing at the corners. Whenever Leila wore that expression and spoke in that tone, Kyle felt his cheeks burn inexplicably.
“You’ve been holed up at home so much lately. It’s weird.”
To mask his fluster, Kyle shrugged nonchalantly.
After blinking slowly a few times, Leila regained her usual expression. Even when her lips were softly pressed together in silence, they seemed to hold the ghost of a smile. And her eyes sparkled with keen intelligence.
“You found your glasses, so you should be out and about more, but it’s the opposite.”
Kyle propped his chin on his hand as he watched her. Leila smiled faintly and meticulously noted the location and characteristics below the pasted petal.
In a few days, she’d take the notebook to the library to scour the plant guides. Kyle wanted to be there for the moment she finally learned the flower’s name and that triumphant smile— so he resolved to accompany her. Leila was the sort of girl who wanted to know the names of every bird and flower in the world. Kyle liked that eccentric side of her.
After pressing down lightly with blotting paper to keep the ink from smudging, Leila carefully closed the notebook. Her retrieved glasses gleamed on her small face.
“Want to go for a walk? To that tree you like by the river.”
“No.”
Leila answered before the words were even fully out.
“You went there every day, and now suddenly you stop? Why? Did you see something scary in the woods again?”
“It’s not that. And I can’t go into the woods today anyway.”
“Why? Oh, the Duke’s hunting day?”
Leila nodded as she pushed the notebook to the end of the table. Moments later, the thunderous sound of hoofbeats began to echo.
“Wow. Impressive.”
Kyle dashed to the window and exclaimed in admiration. The Duke of Herhardt’s hunting party was passing by the path beside the cottage, heading into the woods. Beaters and hounds led the way, followed by five young men on horseback.
Leila peered cautiously out the window from Kyle’s side. The Duke rode a glossy dark-brown horse, as always. His red hunting jacket and gleaming shotgun caught the eye like an engraving.
“Of course, Leila—I don’t hunt. Never plan to.”
Kyle, who had been marveling nonstop, suddenly sobered. At that instant, the Duke of Herhardt turned his head toward the cottage. Even though she was already concealed behind the curtain, Leila startled and pulled back from the window.
For the past ten days, Leila had done her utmost to avoid him. She hadn’t gone near the riverbank at all, nor set foot in the woods. She felt sorry for Uncle Bill, but she hadn’t been able to help with the gardening as diligently as before. She’d pitch in busily when the Duke was out, then flee the garden the moment he returned.
She planned to endure the inconvenience until summer’s end. Come autumn, he’d get engaged and depart for the capital, and Arbis would return to its peaceful ways.
“You seem really down. Want to come stay at my place?”
Kyle asked with concern, scanning her complexion.
“No, Kyle. I’m fine.”
Leila gave a small shake of her head and returned to her seat at the table.
“It’ll be over by evening anyway.”
The moment she casually flipped open her book, a gunshot rang out. The baying of hounds and the thunder of galloping horses followed.
Leila turned the unread pages with pale hands clenched tight, then released.
Tonight, she’d probably have to venture into the woods after all. There would be so many poor birds that needed burying.
