Chapter 43
43. When You Were Trembling2022.01.27.
“I went to the battlefield thinking my wife would be safe and comfortable at home. So, tell me, how exactly have you been while I was away?”
Reina was at a loss for words and stared at him blankly. She felt strange. She should be worrying about her slip-up about eating spoiled fish. But she couldn’t figure out why she felt this way. This was all just a ridiculous play anyway……. Yet her chest felt strangely tight. She had never thought life in the marquis’s household was that hard. Had it actually been tough? Now that her body had recovered, was she just being overly sensitive? Pressing down on her tightening chest, Reina lowered her head and tried to calm herself. He’s not my husband. He’s the young lady’s husband. I mustn’t delude myself. He’s from a different world. And I have to return to my grandmother.
「Your role is just to calm this current mess. Nothing more, nothing less.」
“…….”
Recalling what the Marchioness had told her helped a little. Reina opened her mouth with a smile.
“……Thank you for your concern. But it’s not like that.”
But her voice seemed to tremble as if she were about to cry. Flustered, Reina lifted her head with feigned boldness, cleared her throat with a hem, and said.
“Who would dare make me eat spoiled fish?”
Fortunately, her second attempt sounded much more composed.
“So, what happened was…….”
But before she could continue her excuse, Arthur let out a short sigh with a hardened expression and cut her off.
“Madam.”
At Arthur’s following words, Reina’s heart plummeted to the floor.
“I’d heard that the treatment of maids in the marquis’s household was quite good. I’ve even heard that working at the Julius Mansion is an enviable position for maids.”
“……!”
Arthur looked at her.
“But the more I see of you, the less it seems that way.”
His lips moved as he stared at her.
“Was I wrong?”
Reina held her breath and stared blankly at Arthur. Her heart pounded, and her blood ran cold.
“Have you really been doing well?”
Arthur was gazing at her intently. And Reina felt utterly exposed before him, stripped bare.
* * * Clatter, clatter…… Neigh, neigh. Screech. With the coachman’s calls, the carriage came to a stop in front of a small, rundown house on the outskirts of Julius territory. The Julius family coachman helped Alvin Lorenson down from the carriage with his small bundle and bid farewell.
“I’ll come back to pick you up in about two hours. Take your time and come out when you’re done.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
With a whoa, the coachman tugged the reins, and the carriage departed.
“…….”
Doctor Lorenson watched the departing Marquis household carriage for a moment.
“Father!”
Hearing the carriage, Taylor quickly opened the door and came out. He took the bundle from his father’s hand.
“You must be tired. No other luggage today?”
He was so polite. Quick and bright-faced.
“…….”
Alvin Lorenson let out a hollow chuckle. He knew exactly why his son was acting this way.
“Didn’t I say not to get ahead of yourself with just anyone? Why are you acting like the wedding date’s already set?”
Taylor’s eyes widened at his father’s pointed remark, then he burst out laughing, pfft.
“It’s not like that.”
His son’s ears were red as he briskly walked ahead with the bundle. Raising kids…… Alvin Lorenson glared.
“You…… You didn’t go blabbering in a letter about how your father approved or whatever, did you?”
“Ah, that’s ridiculous……. We’re not even dating. It’s just me liking her.”
Alvin Lorenson shot back.
“You think I’d believe that if you were in my shoes?”
A specialist in the upper class, young, handsome, and perfectly fine—and a mansion maid would turn that down? It was a respected profession socially too, and not so high nobility as to be unattainable. She must be too kind and naive……. Ugh. It was a mistake raising this kid at the Julius Mansion. There were quite a few beauties among the maids famous for their high pay at Julius. But girls doing rough work in places like this often had twisted fates. That Reina girl was a real beauty too, but her situation just made him sigh. If she were a high noble’s mistress, she might dream of changing her fate somehow, but her lot was truly hopeless. Not even a proper mistress, but a stand-in bride whose existence couldn’t be revealed, wasting her body away. If she at least became an official mistress, she could be protected under Sir Arthur’s name. But being ‘Christina Julius’s man’ was an important image for Sir Arthur too—would he take her as a mistress in this situation? Especially when even Sir Arthur and the marquis’s house might not take full responsibility. She was getting the worst from both sides. A Julius maid would surely be a beauty, tough and capable, he’d think—then seeing her, he’d worry she didn’t seem like just a maid. Of course, cases as hopeless as hers were rare……
“It’s really not.”
His son’s face, turning at the door, was flushed. Then he looked away, pushed the door open with his body, and muttered softly.
“I was planning to confess now and ask to date seriously…….”
His composure was bursting?
“…….”
His son pretended nonchalance, embarrassed.
“……Father, want me to massage your shoulders?”
Even more composure bursting?
“No need, you rascal.”
Alvin Lorenson followed him inside, gruffly saying.
“I have an out-of-town lecture next week. Come to the mansion that day and cover for me. I’ve already told the Madam and young lady.”
“Ah……. Yes!”
Next week. He’d finally see Reina. Alvin grumpily confirmed with a sigh.
“You’ve finished organizing what to report, right?”
Taylor nodded confidently.
“Yes.”
Doctor Lorenson hesitated briefly. The Marchioness had said to trust Alvin Lorenson with the gag order items and handle it himself. It was permission to share with Taylor what Alvin knew, leaving the method to him.
“…….”
It wasn’t pleasant to tell his kind, naive son about the flaws of the noble house he’d long served—and that his son would serve long-term. But it had to be done. Alvin Lorenson fell silent for a moment, then removed his hat and spoke.
“Working for the Julius family, you won’t see only the clean parts.”
Taylor closed his mouth and stood facing his father.
“Yes, I know.”
Taylor knew the Juliuses weren’t some gentle, righteous noble house. That there were many hidden flaws not publicly known. This was the first time his father was speaking to him about it now that he was officially taking on Julius duties.
“Unjust things. Absurd things……. Sometimes there may be things your values can’t accept. But you’re a doctor, and there aren’t just us in the world. If you refuse, someone else will end up doing it.”
Alvin Lorenson continued.
“If you don’t help, it could be an even greater misfortune for the patients right away.”
Alvin Lorenson looked into Taylor’s eyes.
“I hope you’re mature enough to understand that.”
“…….”
Alvin Lorenson didn’t linger on the heavy tone and shifted plainly.
“There’s a herbal tea you bring down to the young lady every day—prescribe that for her. Thank them for trusting you, say you’re doing well. Report on the grandmother’s health and listen to what they say. That’s it.”
Taylor blinked.
“……To Lady Christina?”
……Not Reina or the Marchioness? After a brief pause, Alvin Lorenson nodded.
“Yeah. You’ll understand when you go.”
His father’s answer felt somehow odd. Anyway, Taylor nodded and asked.
“Yes. I’ll do that. What kind of herbal tea?”
Doctor Lorenson replied.
“Black stag’s horn mushroom, fire dragon tree bark, atasil fruit. And water decocted from roasted aluccino root.”
“…….”
Taylor froze at the names of the brutal ingredients his father listed.
“……Pardon?”
Alvin Lorenson removed his gloves without looking at Taylor. Taylor stared at his father, doubting his ears.
“That’s…… an abortifacient. And the young lady drinks that every day?”
* * * Be thoroughly Lady Christina in front of Sir Arthur. Don’t say anything that reveals you’re a maid, even by mistake. Even if they say they know and try to draw out an honest conversation, don’t fall for it—watch your mouth. Don’t get caught by slip-ups or leading questions. Don’t fall for leading questions. But no matter how hard she tried to recall the Marchioness’s orders, his words kept surging into her heart like waves.
「I went to the battlefield thinking my wife would be safe and comfortable at home.」
「So, tell me, how exactly have you been while I was away?」
Unknowingly, Reina gripped her crumbling resolve and clenched her fists. Her tightly balled hands trembled faintly.
“…….”
Arthur watched her for a moment, sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. Then he pulled a chair right in front of himself.
“…….”
Arthur looked up and gazed at her.
“Sit down. Let’s talk openly for once. Isn’t it about time?”
Could this be a leading question? Could someone with eyes like these conduct a leading interrogation? Was she the foolish one for thinking that? Even as her chest crumbled stuffily, a sad fear rose in a corner of her heart.
「You know that if things go wrong, neither you nor your grandmother will be safe, right?」
Grandmother. Grandmother…….
“Sit.”
Reina trembled with sadness and despair. She couldn’t move. She felt like she’d burst into tears the moment she sat.
“…….”
Watching Reina not move, Arthur frowned faintly and took her hand. Reina stared blankly at him. When his hand touched hers, the trembling seemed even more vivid. Arthur murmured, grasping her cold hand.
“Why are you so cold?”
“…….”
He took the plate she held in her chilled hand and placed it on the table one by one. Clink. ……Clink. Then he reached out with both hands and enveloped hers. And looked up at her.
“Don’t you trust me yet?”
“…….”
Reina remained standing. Just pale and trembling faintly. Arthur’s gaze dropped back to her hands. Her trembling, like she was frightened, showed no sign of calming. He looked up at her again and asked.
“Do you need more time?”
Reina couldn’t say a word. Couldn’t pull away. Couldn’t respond to anything he said. Arthur spoke.
“Madam.”
Arthur had fully turned toward her. Sitting, he grasped both her hands with his two.
“Why are you so cold? Are you scared of me?”
“…….”
Reina trembled violently, blinking vacantly. Arthur, watching her, seemed to smile faintly, bitterly.
“…….”
Her chest tightened. If she stayed silent like this. Like Marina, Sir Arthur would put on a cold sneer, a face saying ‘Of course. That’s who you are,’ and close his mouth. That was sad. But she couldn’t imagine a better outcome. She didn’t know what else to do. She’d lived her whole life that way……. Reina stood frozen in place, unable to do this or that. With her hands held by him, rooted there. I wish you’d just find me frustrating, give up waiting, and let go quickly.
“…….”
After waiting a moment, Arthur finally stood from his seat.
“Madam.”
“…….”
Arthur called her. Instead of her hand, he lightly grasped her shoulder.
“I’m going to hug you now. If you don’t want it, push me away.”
“…….”
Reina couldn’t comprehend what he’d said. Even as his hand slid from her shoulder to her arm.
“If you can’t say anything, just lean on me.”
Even as he spoke softly. And Arthur embraced Reina.
