Chapter 41
41. Unfillable2022.01.20.
Evening at the marquis’s mansion. After Kay finished his report on ‘Rembrandt’ and ‘Francis Ford’ and left. Arthur, left alone in the study, was looking down at the few reports Kay had left behind.
“…….”
· · ·
「This is the list of soldiers whose compensation for the inadequate supplies issue was overlooked.」
「This is the record of war bonuses and survivors’ pensions payments. It also includes the types of people who applied for relief in ambiguous cases.」
「I’m still hearing from people about those who didn’t receive payments or have grievances, or cases of overpayments. It’ll take a bit more time, but I’ll bring more as the investigation progresses.」
He took the reports with a smile and nodded briefly.
「Good work.」
· · ·
“…….”
Arthur quietly gazed at the cover of the report. 【Records of War Veterans’ Bonuses and Survivors’ Pensions Payments, and List of Omissions】 ……Probably something like that was written on it. In his blurred vision, the letters were only perceived as unreadable shapes. He closed his eyes gently, then opened them. And leaned back against the chair’s backrest.
“…….”
No more putting it off. Arthur calmly looked up at the ceiling. Just a couple of months ago, he could still read by focusing his aura on his eyes. But now, his eyesight had deteriorated to an irreversible state, beyond even the aid of aura.
“…….”
Nevertheless, aside from the crown prince who knew about the side effects of aura, none of his subordinates had yet noticed that he had lost his sight. No one could imagine that he, who rode horses, wielded a sword, and displayed astonishing physical abilities and dynamic vision, was blind.
“…….”
He could sense the presence of obstacles or the shapes of objects. There were many things he could compensate for with his sensitive hearing. But that wasn’t vision. Above all, the biggest problem was that he could no longer read writing. In a situation where he had to engage in a political power struggle with Julius over control of the family, it was a weakness that must not be exposed.
“…….”
Arthur quietly moved his fingertips over the report.
“…….”
He had thought he had a bit more time. But it had come sooner than expected.
「……Are you not injured anywhere?」
Arthur thought indifferently. She won’t notice my vision problem. Not with that carelessness. It wasn’t a hopeful wish, but a belief based on experience.
“…….”
Right after losing his sight, he honestly thought his subordinates would catch on quickly. But Tristan, who spent most of the day with him and assisted him closely; Kay, who always discussed documents with him; even Lukan, with his beast-like instincts—none of them had noticed that Arthur was blind, even after more than two months of being so close. Only the crown prince, who alone knew that he was operating his aura on the razor’s edge to avoid blindness, had realized it. And even then, only after sharply testing him several times while pretending not to know. Arthur raised his hand and silently rubbed his eyes.
“…….”
He couldn’t avoid it, and he didn’t regret it, but…… the situation was precarious. If the marquis found out he had lost his sight, he’d gleefully spread it everywhere, pretending to pity and protect him while trying to keep him under his thumb. Then Arthur would be sidelined amid sympathetic gazes. Control of the family would go to ‘Marquis Julius,’ and after that to ‘Christina.’ Then he wouldn’t be able to do as he wished for the soldiers below and the people of Julius territory. Even if his blindness was discovered someday, it had to be after he had firmly seized control of the family. After he had solidly entrusted the territory’s affairs to people he could trust.
“…….”
Arthur lowered the hand covering his eyes and once more blankly stared at the unreadable report. After saving the crown prince and the triumphant return, there hadn’t been many documents to review on the way back to the homeland. He could leave it to Kay and Tristan. Or handle it with context and intuition. And the crown prince, who knew of his blindness, hadn’t assigned him document work either. But now the crown prince had left. The blind man was alone. And the mansion’s and territory’s affairs were starting to pile up on Arthur. The duties of the Triumphal General. The rewards for merit and the inadequate supplies issue. Legal consultations related to the marriage contract. And these documents…… He could avoid it no longer. Even to keep it from the marquis. He had to tell those he trusted most now. To protect himself.
“…….”
They’d torment themselves over it. Tristan. Still, he needed to know. It would be courteous to tell him directly rather than let him find out through other channels. Kay would be flustered. But he could get a lot of practical help from him. Lukan would get angry. That guy’s temper is hard to handle…… If he got excited and said something foolish, it’d be trouble. Anyway, if the marquis found out, seizing control of the family would become difficult. It was something to handle with care. For now, maybe just Tristan and Kay.
“…….”
Arthur smirked at the presence he sensed from the direction of the door.
“Madam.”
From the door leading to the bedroom, Reina peeked her head out and smiled faintly.
“Sir Arthur.”
Arthur smiled, covered the documents on the desk, and pushed them aside. Seeing that, Reina hesitated and asked.
“Am I disturbing your work?”
“No. I was just about to rest.”
Only then did Reina smile faintly and quietly step further into the study.
“…….”
Her footsteps were light. Probably because Taylor Lorenson was coming soon. He could feel her excitement. You think I’ll let you meet him? A twisted thought crossed his mind, but hearing her heartbeat like that weakened his resolve. Just like how he’d felt annoyed when she asked about the crown prince, only to feel better the moment he realized, Ah, she doesn’t really want to meet Kyle. She approached. He could feel the swish of her dress hem with her quiet steps. Arthur quietly watched her draw near. If I have to let you meet Taylor, then give me some time alone with you too.
“The sunset is beautiful.”
Reina stood before him, hands clasped behind her back, and smiled deliberately.
“……Meaning it’s dinnertime.”
At her added words, Arthur let out a small laugh. He too always knew when evening came and the room filled with sunset light.
“That’s overly romantic for an expression about mealtime.”
Reina smiled shyly, pleased at making him laugh. Then, looking out the window, she said.
“All the rooms on this side face southwest, so you can always see a beautiful sunset in the evenings. I really like that.”
Arthur gazed at Reina wordlessly. His wife abruptly shut her mouth and awkwardly corrected herself.
“……Of course, I’ve seen it my whole life…….”
Arthur silently smiled at her. In his blurred vision. The form of his wife.
“Shall I ask them to bring dinner up?”
She asked. Sunset light slid over her warm face. Not clearly visible, but in faint colors. He suddenly wondered what face she made when speaking in that voice.
“Shall we?”
Five years ago, he could see her face. Those emerald eyes glowing green in the dark. Now that he finally had you before him again, it was regrettable that he couldn’t see those eyes. That he probably never would again. Arthur quietly gazed at Reina, who flickered only as a hazy shape. The wind breaking in her hair. The hem of her dress flowing over her body. Even in his blurred vision, the sparkling sunlight flickering in her hair. Her white cheeks, sometimes pale, sometimes flushed, and from five years ago, what must have been those emerald eyes, remaining as memories. That faint light. Now, I could only feel you through such things.
“Sir Arthur?”
Arthur smiled. If only I could see your form clearly one more time.
“Is there anything special you’d like to eat?”
He asked.
“Oh, me…… I like anything. And you, Sir Arthur? Did you eat out? What did you have for lunch?”
She quickly added.
“What I had for lunch was delicious too. It was a chicken dish. Shall I ask them to make that again? You didn’t get to have it. I don’t mind having the same thing again.”
Arthur gazed at her as she chattered on.
“…….”
He smiled faintly. Standing from his seat, he approached Reina’s side, feeling her invisible presence. Her shoulders tensing. Warmth rising to her cheeks. A tremor that seemed to welcome him. Hearing all those held breaths that didn’t suggest another lover, he almost deluded himself that she had waited for him these five years.
“……Sir Arthur?”
Why does it feel like you waited for me. Why does it feel like you like me. Why do I think the mood between us is good. When I was nothing but an intruder in your life. Even confirmed by my own ears. Is it all because I’m blind. Would it feel different if I could see. Would this delusion fade then.
“…….”
Arthur quietly smiled at her. Reina looked back at him. Arthur thought of the chief physician’s son, Taylor. He can see you. The you of now. Then he thought of Rembrandt and Francis. They would all be able to see your eyes. He felt an unbearable jealousy at that fact. Arthur smiled faintly, wrapped his arm around her waist, and whispered above her head.
“Anything is fine.”
Brushing his lips lightly against her and feeling her tremble. Arthur soothed his unfillable possessiveness.
