Chapter 15
15. How have you been?2021.10.21.
“How have you been? For five years.”
Reina awkwardly recounted Lady Christina’s daily routine in response.
“Just…… I’ve been well.”
“…….”
“On weekdays, I spent time at home with my family…… and on weekends, I went to the temple to attend Mass. ……I prayed for your safe return…… and for the war to end quickly.”
Avoiding Arthur’s gaze, Reina stammered out her answer while staring only at the teacup he had pushed toward her on the table. He simply said, “I see,” and asked no more. After a stretch of silence, he spoke again.
“Don’t you have any questions for me?”
Reina lifted her eyes from the teacup to look at him.
“…….”
As she took in the sight of him, casually blending into the backdrop like it was everyday life while he smoked his cigar, a thought flashed through her mind before her mouth moved on its own. It was a question welling up from her chest, as if she had longed to ask it for ages.
“……How have you been?”
But once the words were out, she realized it was just parroting his own question back at him in the most ordinary way. Her face flushed hot. It felt too indifferent. She had stayed cooped up in the mansion, but he had been off at war. Hurriedly averting her eyes, Reina added,
“……You weren’t injured anywhere, were you?”
Arthur let out a short, soundless chuckle.
“…….”
Then, with a smile lingering on his face, he drew on the cigar and replied.
“I got injured in the usual ways and healed up. Nothing’s bothering me now.”
“…….”
The tip of the cigar quietly burned away. Arthur took a deep drag, inhaling the smoke, then ground it out in the ashtray as he spoke.
“Do you know Lord Rembrandt?”
“…….”
At the sudden mention of the imperial guest’s name, Reina’s face stiffened slightly. Lord Rembrandt…… The envoy sent from the imperial palace, who had arrived at the mansion about two weeks ago and begun staying here. She had heard he had come with a retinue of about a dozen people to paint a portrait of the marquis, who had become an elector. Was he the son of the empress’s brother? She knew he was a noble of very high standing, but someone she would never cross paths with. She had once or twice run into one of his attendants sitting on a bench near the annex and bought an imperial gazette, but that was it……
“…….”
Lady Christina had no interactions with Lord Rembrandt either, had she? Reina wondered if Christina had ever met him. Christina was the sort who never met noble guests, no matter how exalted, even when they visited the mansion. If the two had ever met, it would have been the talk of the house by now. The marquis and his wife always took great pains to hide her from important visitors, allowing them only a distant glimpse of her ‘beauty’ through clever arrangements. It was because, though Lady Christina was exceedingly beautiful, she could never be called a sociable or gentle lady. Concluding inwardly that Christina had no dealings with Lord Rembrandt, Reina said,
“……You mean the noble sent from the imperial palace? I know he’s here. But I’ve only heard his name—I’ve never met him in person.”
Arthur’s silver-gray eyes fixed on her. Reina gave an awkward smile.
「Especially avoid appearing before ‘Lord Rembrandt,’ no matter what excuse you have to make. You know the imperial guest staying at the mansion? If he sees your face, things will get complicated. Use an excuse like feeling unwell or not wanting to meet any man but your husband.」
Reina anxiously racked her brain for a polite refusal. She couldn’t say right now that she’d be ill that day…… And saying she didn’t want to meet any man but her husband wouldn’t work when it was her husband urging her? She didn’t want to spout nonsense like wanting to be alone with him again and leave Arthur baffled. For now, maybe say she understood and then feign collapse from illness when the time came? Her chest tightened at the thought of telling such an obvious lie.
“…….”
She thought that would take all her nerve for that day. Until Arthur opened his mouth again.
“What about Taylor Lorenson?”
Thud. Her heart plummeted. Her face hardened at a speed incomparable to when she’d heard ‘Rembrandt.’ That was the name of the man she had been promised in exchange for bringing him Arthur’s weakness. What did he mean by asking? Why bring it up now, of all times? Did he know something? Unable to tear her gaze from his, Reina broke out in cold sweat. Her nape prickled with chill. She hadn’t done any spying to harm him yet, but just having accepted that order while relying on her grandmother’s care made it impossible for her to stand tall before Arthur. Barely managing to respond from ‘Christina’s’ perspective, Reina said,
“Do you mean…… the son of our family physician, Doctor Lorenson?”
Her heart pounded wildly. Her hands, clutching her skirt, trembled.
“The one looking after me is…… Doctor Lorenson, so I don’t know him well…… ……I’ve heard he’s a capable physician. ……Why do you ask about him?”
She spoke very slowly to avoid stammering. Had her voice sounded too strange? As she waited for Arthur’s reply, Reina thought her heartbeat must be loud enough for him to hear.
“…….”
Arthur, who had been staring piercingly at her, lowered his gaze with a faint smile. Then he took out a new cigar and put it in his mouth.
“……?”
Reina blinked, momentarily holding her breath. The chilling sensation that had filled the air like something ominous suddenly vanished.
“…….”
Arthur lit the new cigar, hiding the cold smile at the corner of his mouth. With a light exhale carrying the tobacco smoke, he said,
“It’s nothing.”
“Yes?”
Reina’s eyes snapped up to look at him.
“Let’s have some food brought in.”
His voice, gentle as ever, smiled softly at her.
“…….”
Reina hesitated. For a moment, she was seized by the impulse to grab him and demand what he had been about to say. But what if his question about Taylor was connected to her not truly being Lady Christina?
「Be thoroughly Christina in front of Arthur.」
“…….”
Feeling the voice clamping a gag over her mouth, Reina bit her lip and bowed her head. Arthur spoke again.
“Lord Rembrandt said you’re remarkably chaste.”
Reina looked up.
“……Yes?”
Arthur continued calmly.
“He said you’re someone he could only meet at the temple’s victory prayer Mass. That you had no dealings with anyone else and praised your fidelity in waiting for your husband away at war.”
“…….”
Arthur smiled at her.
“Thank you.”
* * * His hand intertwined with Reina’s and pinned it to the bed. Reina could say nothing and yielded. Blue moonlight pierced the darkness. Pearl-white light shattered against her damp, slick body. Without a word, he overwhelmed her and moved, and Reina unraveled beneath him just as she had five years ago.
「Arthur.」
「Arthur.」
His quiet silver-gray eyes gazed at her. As if peering into the depths of her soul. Dizzying breaths. His gaze never wavered for a moment as it devoured her. Reina felt utterly stolen away by that look in his eyes. Though he only held her hand and waist down to the bed, she couldn’t move an inch, as if her entire body were bound.
「Ah. Ah……!」
Even as she bit her lips and tried to hold back, sounds escaped her throat against her will. Just like that night five years ago, when she had tried not to make a sound but failed. He quickened his pace roughly. As she thrashed her head side to side, he poured himself over her. A chilling sensation spread. Amid the fierce movements, the hands pressing her body were gently tender, impossibly so. She was driven to the edge of the cliff. Overwhelmed by unbearable pleasure, she felt like she was suffocating.
「Stop……. Stop……!」
If only it had been horrifying instead. The sensation of losing herself swept over her body. She felt swallowed whole. Lightning-like ecstasy raced through her, bleaching her mind white.
「Ah……! Ah!」
So hot. So hot……. Amid the heartbreaking tenderness and the thrill that made her want to throw herself away, she finally sobbed out her plea.
「Please……!」
Reina cried out as she spilled the words.
「You know I’m not Lady Christina.」
Arthur, who had been thrusting his hips without a word, smiled coldly and kindly, as if he knew everything.
「You deceived me?」
“!”
Reina jolted awake from the dream with a start. Her body was drenched in sweat.
“Hah……. Hah…….”
An unfamiliarly soft bed. The heavy blanket clung to her sweat-soaked skin.
“…….”
She sensed the presence of an unfamiliar man beside her. Reina held her breath, squeezed her eyes shut tight, then opened them. No……. Don’t make a sound. She didn’t want to wake him.
“…….”
Pressing down her anxious heart, Reina desperately regulated her breathing. Her throat ached as if she had been sobbing for a long time. She felt drained and empty. Afraid, yet sad. She couldn’t even identify what this emotion was. Covering her eyes with the back of her hand, Reina waited until the trembling subsided and not even a trace of movement remained on the bed. Then she turned her ear toward Arthur.
“…….”
His breathing was steady and quiet.
‘He sleeps so soundly…….’
Without making a sound, Reina cautiously shifted her gaze to the side and looked at him as he slept peacefully.
“…….”
Moonlight shattered on his high nose bridge and eyelashes. He was beautiful.
“…….”
Reina gazed at him endlessly. The face she had been too afraid of meeting eyes with to look at directly, she now took in only after he had fallen asleep.
“…….”
In her heart, Reina posed a question to him.
‘……How have you been?’
“…….”
Quietly, she continued her unspoken words.
‘Truth be told, I was so busy I barely had time to breathe. That’s just how life as a maid is.’
“…….”
Especially the past month—I was incredibly busy. Your return had the master and madam riding us maids ragged.
“…….”
For five years, I lived the same busy, ordinary maid’s life, occasionally going home to spend time with Grandmother. I only go home occasionally to begin with……
“…….”
I collected gazettes that carried news of you now and then. ……Well, not just now and then—I collected them diligently. I made sure to get the temple gazettes too by donating steadily, and whenever the marquis discarded one, I always volunteered to clean his room to snag it. For the ones where I had to line up but arrived too late and they sold out, I’d dig through the trash bins behind the plaza. For the hard-to-find ones, I’d go around on foot, pay extra, whatever it took…… Sometimes, when I spotted someone with a rare gazette I hadn’t seen, I’d wait until they finished reading nearby and strike up a conversation…… So yeah, I’ve got quite a few precious gazettes.
“…….”
……No other reason. Hearing you were thriving out there in the wide world just made me oddly proud for some reason. But you must have had it rough, right? Since you went to such a dangerous place……
“…….”
And you? How…… how have you been?
“…….”
Reina gazed at him endlessly, then quietly turned her head toward the ceiling and closed her eyes.
