52 - Can I Cry Now?
52
Even he could see that Clois was rapidly collapsing this year.
All day long, he would stare blankly out the window with a face devoid of any expression.
It was the same during meetings. For seven years, he had relentlessly driven the ministers and personally checked everything.
Thanks to that, many things progressed quickly and without a hitch.
If even the slightest hint of corruption or deception was revealed, the person involved had to truly prepare for death.
It was thanks to Clois's frantic, self-driven work that the empire quickly regained its prosperity.
But Clois was breaking down just as quickly.
He thought he was holding on somehow…
“He has truly reached his limit. He refuses his medicine, and if this continues, something terrible will happen…”
The Imperial Physician said, glancing anxiously at the window where Clois often stood.
He couldn't bring himself to say it, but he was hinting that the Emperor might take his own life.
But even if he knew the Emperor's condition and its cause, there was no way to cure it.
A dead person cannot be brought back to life.
So the State Affairs Minister tried to at least slow down the Emperor's deterioration by any means possible.
Of course, he achieved nothing.
'But…'
Recently, Clois's condition had changed.
He, who had been sitting blankly without any motivation, began to move. A little expression began to appear on his cold face.
'When did that start?'
The State Affairs Minister tried to recall if anything had happened in the Imperial Palace around the time Clois began to change.
Soon, he remembered what had happened.
'The Academy for the Gifted opened.'
But Clois couldn't possibly like that.
Hadn't he repeatedly opposed it, even when the ministers urged him to open it quickly?
Besides, Clois would become even more depressed when he saw young children, as it reminded him of the dead princess.
So there was no way he would be better just because the Academy for the Gifted had opened…
While the State Affairs Minister was struggling to find the reason for his improvement, Clois put down his pen.
“I think I've checked enough. Please take care of the rest.”
With those words, Clois stood up.
“Your Majesty?”
The surprised State Affairs Minister stood up as well.
Something was definitely wrong.
Normally, he would have checked everything himself until the very end, but now he was only looking at the essential parts and passing on the work.
“Do you have another appointment?”
“No, it's nothing like that. I just… feel like taking a walk. Then, I'll leave it to you.”
At his answer, the State Affairs Minister bowed his head.
\ \ *
As he walked, Clois was thinking about his actions a moment ago.
'Not checking everything until the end.'
That was something that would never have happened normally.
If he rested his eyes and hands even a little, gloomy thoughts would keep popping up, so he would even create work to do.
But he had passed on a lot to the State Affairs Minister and hurried outside.
And now, as if he had an appointment, he was heading to the graves of Lilian and Evevien.
The guards guarding the entrance to the tomb recognized the Emperor and bowed their heads.
Clois greeted them briefly.
“Thank you for your hard work.”
“……!”
The guards' shoulders twitched at those words.
“What's wrong?”
“No, it's just that it's the first time Your Majesty has spoken to us first… Ah, it's nothing.”
The guard, who had answered in a flustered voice, quickly shut his mouth.
Clois was just as flustered.
'Was it?'
Come to think of it, coming here always felt like walking through a dark, deep swamp.
He couldn't even breathe properly, and it was so hard to take a step that he was too busy just enduring it to even look around.
So he didn't have the spare time to greet them.
Those people, who had always been here, were only now properly visible.
Clois gave a bitter smile and said.
“…I am always grateful.”
The guards bowed even deeper at the Emperor's greeting.
Clois, giving a light wave in response, headed inside.
As he passed through the narrow path, he noticed the difference. The sadness he felt every time he walked here had faded.
'Why?'
People said that time would erase his sadness.
That oblivion, a blessing granted to humans, would bury his past deep in his heart as well.
Soon, he came out of the path, and the graves of his wife and child, as always, greeted him.
But…
“……”
Clois ran a hand over his face.
Strange.
Today, his throat didn't feel constricted. His eyes didn't feel hot.
The sadness hadn't disappeared. It was still alive deep in his heart. But why…
As he was staring blankly at the grave, there was a rustling sound in the bushes behind him.
“……!”
Clois quickly approached the sound.
A small child pushed through the bushes and revealed herself.
The child, who had gotten up from the ground, looked up at him. Her green eyes softened as she looked at him.
“Professor!”
As if asking to be caught, she stretched out her arms towards him, and Clois approached as if possessed and picked up the child.
A small, warm body filled his arms.
“Ibi?”
“Yes! It's been a while!”
A voice mixed with laughter mumbled in his arms.
Clois tightened his arms around the child.
Was he using too much strength? The moment he heard a struggling sound, he came to his senses and quickly sat Ibi down on the nearby bench.
Ibi's appearance, after coming through the bushes, was a mess.
Not to mention her disheveled hair, leaves and dirt were stuck all over her clothes.
Clois knelt down on one knee in front of Ibi, made eye contact, and removed the debris.
“Oh dear, are you hurt anywhere?”
“No. I'm okay.”
He thought she was just saying it, but after removing the fallen leaves, there really wasn't a single scratch.
'There's all sorts of things.'
Even though there were scratches or slightly torn parts on her clothes, Ibi's body had no injuries at all.
As if the bushes had avoided her on their own.
He turned his head and looked at the bushes.
'I was going to block it.'
If he had given the order, that path would have been blocked that day. Perhaps a wall would have been built in the forest to prevent anyone from crossing.
But he never gave that order after all.
After tidying up her hair, he could see the child's appearance properly.
'She's gotten much better.'
Ibi's appearance on the first day of the Academy for the Gifted was enough to make him sigh.
Small height, thin arms and legs. She didn't have the chubby baby fat that would naturally be seen at her age.
In addition, her dry, dull hair made Ibi look even more pitiful.
But it wasn't that bad anymore.
Was she eating well? Her rough-looking skin and hair now had a shine.
Her hollow cheeks were filling out, and a healthy rosy glow was appearing.
Even though she was wearing the smallest size, which didn't fit and was loose, it seemed to fit to some extent now, and he couldn't see any protruding bones on her wrists either.
And…
“That's right, thank you so much for the gift!”
There wasn't even a hint of shadow in the smile she showed him.
Clois couldn't say anything for a moment and just looked at Ibi.
She was a child who smiled well even when they first met.
Wasn't she the child who came up to him, whom she was meeting for the first time, handed him a handkerchief, and even greeted him right away, telling him who she was?
But at that time, there was a clear sense of tension that she couldn't hide.
Compared to now…
'She looks like a child who has lived here her whole life.'
Now, there was no tension in Ibi's attitude.
She had a very familiar and natural attitude, as if she was walking around her own front yard.
'The Academy for the Gifted suits her well.'
A smile spread across his face.
The reason he wasn't very favorable to the opening of the Academy for the Gifted was partly due to the problems of the nobles, but more than that, he was worried about the children.
He was worried about the children who had to come far away alone at a young age.
So, from this year, he ordered that the number of days the children could go home should be increased as much as possible.
Thanks to that, the Academy for the Gifted had more days off and longer vacations than before. Going home on weekends was also allowed.
But that was only good when the family lived nearby.
It was difficult for children from distant cities to see their families unless it was a vacation.
Moreover, from the moment they left the Academy for the Gifted, it was their own responsibility, so it was virtually impossible for a child who came from afar and didn't have enough money, like Ibi, to go and meet them.
So he thought she would be anxious about being far away from where she lived, but Ibi didn't show any of that.
