17 - Can I Cry Now?
Chapter 17
Clois had been feeling strangely off since this morning.
It wasn't a bad feeling. Rather, it was a sense of anticipation that made his heart flutter.
It had been so long since he had greeted the morning with such a feeling that at first, he couldn't even tell what his mood was.
Then, it suddenly occurred to him.
A long time ago, when his precious person was still alive, he started each day with this feeling.
'But why am I suddenly like this?'
It was nothing special.
It wasn't an anniversary, nor was it the day someone passed away. Just an ordinary day with no particular schedule.
But he couldn't understand why he was so excited since morning.
He even suspected that he might have taken the wrong medicine.
But he still hadn't touched the medicine the doctor gave him, so that couldn't be the case.
Unable to find anything unusual in today's schedule, Clois retraced his memories of the previous day.
Recently, there had been nothing special other than his worsening depression...
"Ah."
No. There was a child who suddenly appeared at the graves of Lilian and Evevien.
But he gave a suitable fake identity and sent him back. There was no need to meet again, so there was nothing to worry about.
So there was no way he would be affected by that...
Clois went to his office with an uncharacteristically buoyant feeling.
The vassals he encountered on the way greeted him more enthusiastically than usual, bowing deeply.
They talked about how the weather was nice and how His Majesty was feeling.
He couldn't understand why the vassals were so excited, even if he was.
These were the same people who usually found it difficult to make eye contact with him.
Unless they had all gone crazy, there was no reason for them to be so friendly.
Yet, they were all carefully watching his mood.
Soon after, Clois understood why they were acting this way.
Those in the conference room suddenly rushed to the windows and began to chatter.
"There, the children from the Academy for the Gifted are coming."
The moment he heard those words, he realized why they had been so attentive to his mood and more talkative than usual since morning.
'Today was the day the Academy for the Gifted children were touring the Imperial Palace.'
After telling them to enroll Ibi Elden, Clois had never mentioned anything about the Academy for the Gifted.
Moreover, there had been continuous suggestions regarding the vacant heir position recently.
So the vassals wanted to hear even a word about what Clois was thinking.
They seemed to think that this was the opportunity, especially when the children who could be candidates were entering the Imperial Palace.
Their thoughts were reasonable in their own way.
If he were to speak his mind about the heir, today would be a good opportunity.
But...
"I'm not feeling well today. Proceed with the meeting without me, and I'll receive the minutes separately."
The faces of the vassals, who had been full of anticipation, darkened in an instant.
Clois had no intention of scolding them.
Of course, some of them secretly hoped that their children, grandchildren, or close aides would catch Clois's eye.
But he knew that more of them were genuinely worried about the 'heir' now.
They hoped that someone would be appointed soon for the sake of the empire's complete stability, no matter who it was.
But he still couldn't decide.
He knew the answer.
As everyone expected, Arcel and Ruska. He just had to choose one of the two children.
Although people's hearts were unpredictable, he had gone through life and death with Duke Keilen and Marquis Ragselb, the fathers of the two children.
Therefore, he knew their character.
Both of them were people who did not want their children to become the heir.
Also, he knew that the moment they were designated as the heir, they would relinquish all positions in the Imperial Palace and immediately retreat to their distant territories.
'The children are fine too.'
Both of them had royal blood mixed in their ancestry.
So when the rumor first spread that one of the two children would become the heir, no one particularly questioned their qualifications.
But Clois had chosen the two children as candidates in his heart not because of such conditions.
'Lilian cherished them very much.'
There were many other children in Lilian's territory besides Arcel and Ruska.
Because his stay was long, his aides brought their families with them.
But Lilian especially cherished those two children. As if they were her own.
Clois trusted Lilian's eyes as much as his own.
If they were children she cherished, there would be no problem.
"But Your Majesty, the young students must be excited to be touring the Imperial Palace. If you are feeling well enough, wouldn't it be good to greet them at least once?"
Just as he was getting annoyed with the vassals who were reluctant to give up and were trying to hold him back,
Clois was jolted awake by those words.
'That child thinks I'm a professor.'
He had given the name of the professor he had used because he couldn't say he was the Emperor.
How surprised would he be if he suddenly saw him here?
Moreover, if he knew who he was, he would never talk to him as comfortably as when they met at Lilian's grave.
Thinking that far, Clois quickly got up from his seat.
Judging from the vassals' attitude, they would approach and greet the children when they came inside.
It was better to just leave this place before that happened.
"Very well. I'll be in my office, so send someone there if there's anything urgent."
Clois quickly left the room.
He went to his office and unfolded the piles of documents as usual.
In any case, today's meeting didn't have any particularly important agenda. So it was fortunate that he had more time to work alone.
'I should finish this quickly.'
There were always many documents waiting for his confirmation.
So he had to quickly check them, sign them, and send them back.
But contrary to his thoughts, his hand barely moved.
He should have already read several pages, but his eyes were still stuck on the very first sentence of the document.
There was only one reason. It was because of the children's voices coming from outside.
'Are they already close?'
The sounds of admiration, calling out to friends, and endless chatter.
He couldn't concentrate at all because of the voices of young boys and girls that were rarely heard in the Imperial Palace.
'Ibi must have come too.'
The moment he thought that, he finally put down the document he was holding and got up from his seat.
Fortunately, the windows were covered with curtains. If he peeked through the gap, he could secretly watch without being seen.
As he thought, he could see the students through the curtains.
'I heard that many children couldn't endure it and quit already.'
Still, there were more students left than he had thought.
Some of them would quit again for various reasons.
Thinking that, he carefully scanned the children.
Finally, he saw the child he was looking for.
Ibi, who was struggling to find a place among the students who were much bigger than him, moving back and forth.
The child was being pushed around by the other students, but he couldn't take his eyes off the Imperial Palace.
And Clois couldn't take his eyes off Ibi.
'Is it that amazing?'
It was no wonder. The Imperial Palace would seem like another world to a child from a rural Poorhouse.
The buildings of the Academy for the Gifted were also excellent as they were affiliated with the Imperial Palace, but they couldn't be compared to the Imperial Palace.
He couldn't help but smile at the sight of him staring blankly.
If there were no other children, and if there were no other students.
'Then I would have gone down and pretended to be a professor, explaining things here and there.'
Thinking that far, Clois was startled.
He had thought that he should never meet him again, but he wanted to go and tell him about it.
What was the reason for these contradictory thoughts?
At that moment, Ibi, who was looking at the Imperial Palace from outside, bowed deeply.
Clois, thinking that he was greeting him, was surprised and quickly stepped back.
"How..."
Was he seen?
Clois had to try to calm his pounding heart.
After slowly exhaling, he cautiously approached the window again after a long time and looked at the garden through the curtains.
The children from the Academy for the Gifted were already moving far away, following the staff.
There was a young child following the tail of the group with hurried steps.
Fortunately, he didn't seem to recognize him.
'Then why?'
Why did he bow to the Imperial Palace?
Clois stood by the window and continued to watch his back until Ibi was no longer visible.
