Ch#134
"Pardon...?"
Evi doubted her ears for a moment. She had clearly heard what Clois said, but she couldn't believe she had heard it right.
Become his daughter?
"What... what do you... mean...?"
She knew what the words meant.
But they were so unbelievable that Evi found herself asking Clois again.
Clois gave a wry smile seeing Evi standing there dazed and stunned.
He had been sitting here for a long while, lost in thought.
To sort out the worries that had lingered in his mind for days.
Legal procedures were no big issue. The ministers might object. But what did that matter?
He could handle such things easily enough.
The problem was Evi's heart.
He had once asked Evi what she wanted to do in the future.
Right after the Genius Academy children had toured the Imperial Palace, so he expected her to say she wanted to become something.
"Well..."
She had spoken in a small voice, as if sharing a shy secret with him.
"Actually... I want to work in the capital and earn money to find my mom and dad."
Other children would name a specific job, but she spoke first of wanting to earn money. Somehow, it hurt his feelings.
And she wanted to find her parents.
Dean Seraphina had reported that Evi didn't seem particularly hurt about being from the poorhouse.
So he thought she might not think much about her parents, but to hear it was her top wish...
The moment he heard it, he felt deeply sorry for Evi.
No matter how smart and capable she was on her own, it was natural for a child to miss her parents. Why hadn't he realized that?
And now, he was telling that very child who longed for her parents that he would take their place.
Evi said nothing in response to his proposal, just sitting quietly.
Seeing that, he hurriedly spoke again.
"Of course, if you don't want to, we won't. Refusing won't make me stop being your guardian. And even if you accept, I won't stop you from finding your parents."
This was what Clois worried about most. That Evi might refuse out of concern that something bad would happen to her.
Naturally, even if she refused, he had no intention of doing anything.
He only worried if his selfish desire was burdening the child.
"That is... um..."
Evi still looked dazed and couldn't answer easily.
"I'm not asking for an answer right now. You need time to think too. So once you've made up your mind, tell me then."
With that, Clois stroked Evi's head.
"No matter what you decide, I won't mind. This is such an important matter, so think only of what you want. Do what you want. Absolutely don't think of anyone else."
At the gentle stroking, Evi bowed her head silently.
* * *
That night, Evi stayed alone in her room, even refusing Irene's invitation to go to the dining hall together.
Irene, worried she might be sick, brought sandwiches and snacks much later.
But Evi sat still like a doll without touching them until late into the night.
Become my daughter?
Those words kept circling in Evi's mind.
The moment she heard them, she had nearly burst into tears right there.
Having never seen her parents since birth, she had always imagined them while watching other children's parents.
'What do Mom and Dad look like?'
Whenever that thought came, Evi would stand before a mirror and look at herself.
Golden hair. Green eyes.
Those were her most distinct features. So on the street, her head would turn involuntarily toward anyone with blond hair or green eyes.
But no one seemed like her mom or dad. Instead, she had been frightened by people angrily asking what she was staring at.
'His Majesty was kind from the start.'
He wasn't scary at all. There was a familiarity and comfort like seeing someone from long ago.
So she had been overjoyed to learn he was her guardian.
On days she played with him and came back, she would unwittingly think.
I wish my dad were like His Majesty.
I wish His Majesty were my dad...
She knew better than anyone it was an absurd fantasy. An incredibly brazen thought too.
Still, every time the emperor treated her kindly, she felt greed growing.
Every time he held her hand, gave her a piggyback ride to pick fruit from trees, or explained difficult parts of books in simple words.
Evi felt her greed swelling more and more.
But she would never voice those thoughts.
If anyone accidentally learned of them...
She could imagine the cold stares directed at her.
A country orphan getting ahead of herself just because she knew the emperor a bit.
Above all, if His Majesty found out...
'He might never see me again.'
That was her greatest fear.
That the emperor would stop seeing her if he knew of her greed.
If he mocked her for daring to imagine she could be his daughter...
She was used to others looking down on her, but strangely, she could never bear it from him.
So she planned to bury that greed in her heart forever, hidden from everyone.
Even from Irene, Arsel, or Ruska.
She could never tell anyone.
Yet His Majesty had asked her first to become his daughter.
"It feels like a dream..."
Evi pressed down on her rising lips with her hand.
She knew from Arsel and Ruska how hard it was to become the emperor's adopted child.
Not even confirmed yet, but the mere possibility drew crowds always hovering around them for attention.
People's eyes followed the two everywhere, scrutinizing every word and action for meaning.
Though they didn't show it openly in public, in front of Evi and Irene, they couldn't hide their exasperation.
Even those two, raised in noble society from childhood, found it so hard. If she became the emperor's adopted child?
'Everyone will hate it.'
People envied Arsel and Ruska while hiding jealousy underneath.
The only reason they suppressed it was the boys' backgrounds and abilities overwhelmingly surpassed their own.
Even then, they couldn't hide their prickly feelings. What if the person was a poorhouse orphan?
Words and stares would turn to blades, circling all day to wound her somehow.
Malice would sharpen, wounds would deepen. Even so...
If she accepted the emperor's proposal.
If he became her father. Then when she called him...
"Dad..."
The word slipped out unwittingly.
Though a tiny whisper, Evi startled like thunder had struck beside her ear and looked around.
Alone in her room, she still worried if anyone had heard.
Thump thump!
She placed her hand over her pounding heart.
'I can't call His Majesty that.'
She knew that better than anyone.
Yet why did her heart race with such joy? She wanted to keep calling him that.
Suddenly, she thought of the small grave where she had seen the emperor.
Evebien.
That name that kept drawing her eyes.
The emperor's daughter who had passed long ago.
"Sorry... I'm sorry."
Evi murmured, thinking of the small tombstone.
She felt guilty for taking someone else's father. But...
'I'm so happy.'
The guilt faded against her bubbling joy, leaving her at a loss.
Evi went to her bed and buried her face in the pillow.
"Dad."
The small murmur was muffled by the pillow and vanished into the air.
Emboldened, Evi tried again.
"Dad..."
A slightly louder voice emerged. But it still didn't escape the pillow.
If she accepted the emperor's proposal, she could say it louder then.
'I'll have a dad too.'
Her heart churned dizzily. But it wasn't unpleasant.
Good thing her face was buried; in the mirror, her expression would surely look strange.
Smiling yet wanting to cry.
"Dad, Dad, Dad..."
Evi kept practicing the word.
A word she had never called anyone in her life.
'At the Seasonal Festival when I see His Majesty...'
She had to tell him.
That she wanted to be his daughter.
And call him then.
Dad.
Overwhelmed by emotion, Evi hugged the pillow tightly and stayed still for a long while.
* * *
A week later, the long-awaited Seasonal Festival finally began.
