Chapter 94
94. My Beloved Love
2023.08.02.
Only then did Tae-joon put down his fountain pen and turn around.
"Are you trying to seduce me right now?"
"Why? Am I not allowed to do this?"
"No. It's just new."
"……."
"It's cute and nice."
In truth, he was a man who would love whatever she did. A man who would accept all of So-eun's gestures and movements as seduction, even if she wasn't trying to seduce him. A man who would reveal his lust without context and pounce on her.
Tae-joon, who had risen from the dining table chair, approached So-eun closely, clasped his hands together, and pulled her in.
"Wow. But Han So-eun tastes like mille-feuille nabe."
Tae-joon, who licked her cheek as his lips slipped, chuckled.
"Ah. I think I'll go wash up."
"No."
Embarrassed, So-eun immediately pushed him away, but Kim Tae-joon was not one to allow this. Tae-joon pulled her back as much as So-eun pushed him away.
"Please. Really……."
"I'm fine with the taste of meat too."
"Then you should wash up too, Director!"
"Then let's wash up together."
"No!"
So-eun, who was wriggling in his arms, finally shouted and pushed him away. And she quickly ran away, urging him.
"Don't come in here today!"
So-eun, who took her clothes and went into the bathroom, wiped her stinging eyes and took a breath.
It felt like the things inside her chest were like a boiling pot, unable to withstand their temperature and pressure, and were about to push the lid off. Uh-huh, worried that the sound of suppressing her sobs would leave the bathroom, she turned on the faucet and repeatedly stroked her chest.
Will this feeling subside? So-eun became afraid of whether she could go outside again.
Perhaps this was the punishment that Chairman Kim Jae-pil had given her. The sin of touching his grandson, the sin of loving his grandson, and thus the sin of inflicting a lifelong wound on his grandson. For these terrible sins, today's happiness was all the price of sin.
Clunk.
"You locked the door so meanly."
Tae-joon, who had twisted the doorknob, grumbled from outside the door. Even though she had clearly asked him not to come in, he had tried to open the door.
Living alone in a studio apartment, she had not gotten into the habit of locking the bathroom door, so she had made mistakes before. Having properly learned what happens when she makes a mistake, she properly locked the door today. But even after locking the door, she became nervous at the sound of him grabbing the doorknob. Even though she knew it was just a joke.
Fortunately, he no longer disturbed So-eun's personal time. Barely managing to catch her breath and wipe away her tears, So-eun washed herself clean and hurried out.
Tae-joon, who had washed in the other bathroom and came out first, was drying his hair with a hairdryer. Drowned out by the sound of the hairdryer, he didn't seem to have heard So-eun's presence yet. So-eun stood still at a distance and looked at Tae-joon. His expressionless eyes staring into the mirror seemed to reflect the empty inside.
The boy in the photo wearing the mourning band came to mind. How heavy must have been the mourning band around the arm of that boy who kept his anger, sense of loss, sadness, and resentment pressed down inside and stood guard with an expressionless face? How did he endure people's gazes with what kind of heart? How scary must have been the fact that he would be alone from now on?
How can he meet me again after spending such a difficult time?
The moment her heart was about to ache again, he turned his head. As soon as he recognized So-eun, an expression appeared on his indifferent face. He slightly stretched his lips and raised his lower eyelids, waving the arm holding the hairdryer, telling her to come here. He was going to dry her hair.
So-eun silently sat in front of him and entrusted her hair to him. Come to think of it, he was the first person to dry her hair, except for the hair salon staff. Her father must have dried her hair when she was young, but she didn't remember. Another item was added to the list of all the firsts he had given her. So-eun didn't want to look at him completely because she felt like she would cry, so she squinted her eyes, using the wind that swept through her hair as an excuse.
"That expression you're making now."
"Yes?"
"You look like a Tibetan fox."
Tae-joon teased her as if he found her expression funny.
So-eun wanted to find something other than love in him somehow. So that after she left, he could think, 'I knew it.' So that he could resign himself to thinking, 'I didn't like her that much either.' That way, the burden would feel a little lighter.
However, even at the moment of teasing her as a Tibetan fox, his eyes were full of affection. Just as he had vowed to love her accurately, he foolishly kept building up only love.
You scolded me for being foolish.
You're even more foolish.
Her eyes became precarious again. She felt like she couldn't hold back any longer. So-eun stopped his hand holding the hairdryer, turned around, and wrapped her arms around his waist. Tae-joon, who had been engrossed in the Han So-eun hair-drying mission, awkwardly stretched out his arms and hugged her.
Tae-joon, who would surrender without any context with just one of her small gestures, quickly surrendered and put down the hairdryer.
With an expression that he couldn't bear how lovely the woman who had rushed to him first was, he picked up So-eun. So-eun, who had been lifted up, lowered her head deeply and kissed him. It was the first time she had been so proactive, so he quickly became heated. The movement of putting So-eun down on the bed was faster than ever. He lost his balance because of it.
Quickly rolling her body and escaping from the inside of his arm, So-eun took his place instead.
Looking up at her who was sitting and reigning over him in an instant, Tae-joon had an expression as if he had been hit in the back of the head. But soon, his eyes became ecstatic, as if he were admiring a masterpiece in an art museum.
She couldn't watch those pretty eyes for long. So-eun reached out to the right and turned off the light. As the surroundings darkened, she gained a little more courage.
So-eun groped for his shoulder, pressed him down, and lowered her body. As her sweet lips touched him above, Tae-joon felt a tingling sensation from his fingertips to his toes, as if electricity was flowing through him.
"Why are you like this today?"
As Tae-joon asked with a puzzled look, So-eun felt a chill down her spine. It was as if he had noticed something because of her clumsy behavior.
"……Why?"
Her heart fluttered like a fish caught in a net.
"No, it's just that something is a little different today. Do you have something to ask of me?"
"……There's no such thing. Why? Don't you like this?"
Relieved by his answer, So-eun quickly dispelled his suspicion.
"It's not bad."
"It's not bad?"
"No, it's good."
"……."
"What to do. I like it."
"……."
"I don't think I should get used to it."
Even though she was still vague about what to do and how to do it, So-eun felt a slight pleasure at his reaction.
The woman, who had vaguely realized how to make him feel good, moved her body as if swimming on angry waves. His turbid breaths were loosely released in the darkness.
I love you the most in the world.
I'm sorry for only giving good things to other people. I'm so sorry for not being able to give you even better things.
I gave a part of my body to Yang Hee-wook, who I have no feelings for anymore.
I want to give you everything, but there's nothing I can give.
You've done so much for me, the most in my life, more than my mom and dad, but there's nothing I can give you.
If you ask for my voice, I'll give you my voice. If you ask for my heart, I want to give you my heart.
So, I.
I'm leaving all my heart here.
My beloved love.
There will never be anyone else who can love like you.
"No."
As if he had heard her inner thoughts, he murmured in a low voice. Startled, So-eun stopped moving, and Tae-joon, who groaned as if he couldn't stand it anymore, hurriedly got up.
Thud. So-eun's body fell onto the bed sheet. In an instant, the top and bottom were reversed.
His patience, which had reached its limit, exploded.
As if retaliating for the heart that had been making his whole body tingle and making him anxious until now, he moved his body hastily. A faint scream was about to leak out, but it was helplessly caught in his mouth.
She had only carefully heated his body. The pressure, which could not be compared to before, made her feel overwhelmed. Only steep breaths repeatedly burst out in the pitch-black darkness.
She had turned off the lights as she pleased during the time she reigned, so now it was his turn to turn on the lights as he pleased. So-eun, who sensed him reaching out to the right, desperately resisted even as she panted. But Tae-joon's hand was faster.
The yellow light came on in the Bed lamp. Tae-joon, who lowered his gaze, realized what he had done and was belatedly taken aback.
She was crying beneath him.
"Why……."
Tae-joon was flustered because her face was so sad.
"Does it hurt?"
He soothed her in a gentle tone because he thought he should comfort her first.
"Don't cry. I'll take it slow."
So-eun shook her head. That's not it.
She didn't even know when she had started crying.
It was tears that flowed out because she felt so good from beginning to end.
It's a big problem because I keep wanting to tell you I love you.
But she didn't say it. She held it back. Because she was worried that this man would have an even harder time because of that word someday.
He moved his lips to where the tears had flowed. It was a gentle lip, as if he would drink all her tears and sadness.
Perhaps feeling sorry for her because her tears did not stop even after that, Tae-joon whispered like a candy he would put in the mouth of a child crying after getting a shot.
"I love you."
The words she couldn't bring herself to say flowed out in his voice.
So-eun, who took a deep breath, raised her upper body and wrapped her arms around his neck. As he was pulled in, she released her breath on his lips.
Even if what she was sending out now was not breath but her life, she would be happy if it could protect this man forever.
In the future, when he is in pain, when he is sad, when he feels like he is going to die missing someone in a place where her hands cannot reach, she wanted to pour out everything and leave if today's breath could protect him.
This innocent prince, who doesn't know anything, doesn't even know what that breath means, and as her breath fills him, he pours his breath into her.
So-eun prayed to God for the first time. Please protect this lovely man.
