Chapter 8
- What Have I Done?
2023.05.08.
The streetlights streamed down So-eun's pink cheeks. Tae-joon found her glasses, which had slid heavily down to the tip of her nose, irritating and wanted to push them up properly. Or, even rip them off altogether.
Still, thanks to the lowered glasses, her kind-looking eyes were half-revealed. But she was lowering her eyelids, so he couldn't look into her pupils.
Her long eyelashes cast shadows, making her look melancholic, but she kept pursing her small, plump lips, making her look cheerful too.
It was an impression that couldn't help but draw his gaze.
Han So-eun, having drunk alcohol for the first time in a while, was releasing her pent-up feelings in a variety of ways. She would hum tuneless songs, mutter incomprehensible words and laugh, and list the names of various foods while smacking her lips.
Even Tae-joon's face, which had been impassive, underwent subtle changes following her expressions.
But she seemed to have no intention of making eye contact with Tae-joon. Even though she saw his gaze approaching, she didn't care at all. She never looked at him, as if trying to treat him, who was sitting next to her, as if he didn't exist, but amusingly, she would occasionally speak to him.
"I like to have fun too... I hate living diligently... I just want to live comfortably..."
"......"
"...You asked me why I joined K Group."
Tae-joon's eyes, which had been staring at So-eun blankly, widened slightly.
"There's no reason to join K Group... It's just the dream of many job seekers. If you get accepted, you just go... And if you don't get fired, you keep going."
Her slow, but quite articulate voice was quite serious. It didn't seem like a lie, and Tae-joon's brow furrowed.
So really, this woman doesn't know what her father did 20 years ago? Has no one told this woman the truth?
Amidst the confusion, she continued to chatter.
"You wouldn't know about that, Director. You haven't even taken the K Group aptitude test."
"......"
"......Lucky you. I envy you."
"You envy that?"
Tae-joon, who had been listening quietly, asked nonchalantly.
"...You just became a director."
"Listen, I'm someone who received a quality education from the Ivy League. A prestigious university that's difficult to even get into..."
Offended by her remark, Tae-joon did something he wouldn't normally do, but stopped talking when he saw So-eun's unfocused eyes.
I graduated with excellent grades from a prestigious university that's difficult to even get into, completed an MBA while carrying out large projects, and I'm a highly sought-after person who has already received scout offers from several companies. With these skills, I'm bound to get a good position wherever I go...
There was no need to tire himself out by giving such a lengthy explanation to a drunk person, as nothing would register in her head.
"Anyway, I'm not a parachute appointment. I'm qualified to be an executive."
"That or that."
Han So-eun had the remarkably adorable talent of saying everything she wanted to say with a blank and sulky expression. Tae-joon, amazed by her actions, raised his voice for a moment and tilted his head down to stare at her openly. Their eyes met, but he couldn't see her face properly. Her thick glasses were still acting as a shield for her small face.
"What do you mean, that or that?"
"It's right, what."
Look at this?
"You're slowly trying to mess with me, and now you're even dropping honorifics."
The corners of Tae-joon's mouth tightened at her soulless answer.
That innocent answer, without any context, overlapped with the reaction of the seven-year-old girl who used to follow him around 20 years ago.
He couldn't easily dismiss his suspicions after all. He began to wonder if this woman was doing it on purpose.
Isn't she actually remembering me?
So, is she making fun of me right now?
Emotions that had been buried for 20 years began to stir.
"You're not drunk, are you? You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"
"I'm drunk. That's why I'm like this... How dare I to the director."
"No. You're not drunk."
"I'm really am. Ugh, it's unfair. Ugh, it's unfair."
"What's unfair?"
"It's been soo long, I'm soo happy to see you..."
"What's been so long?"
"Alcohol! I said alcohol earlier!"
"......"
"With memory like that, what Ivy League."
Ha. Just as a burst of laughter escaped him because it was so absurd, So-eun was suddenly having a moment of self-reproach.
"Wow... I'm so good at talking, why did I do that?"
"......"
"Hoo, why did I do that?"
It was regret for not being able to refute Hee-wook's nagging at the bar.
As she muttered to herself, her balance faltered. Watching her cover her head with both hands as if in pain, wondering what she regretted so much, Tae-joon flared his nostrils.
She didn't seem to be interested in his story at all.
Tae-joon swallowed a hollow laugh. He had to accept reality.
You don't remember me.
It's only natural.
Not many people remember their seven-year-old selves. It would be even more so for someone he hadn't seen for 20 years since he was seven.
Kim Tae-joon is someone who doesn't remain in any part of Han So-eun's life.
Han So-eun's joining K Group was just a coincidence.
That was the truth. A trivial truth.
Once he realized it properly, he felt drained.
Did I fly all the way across the ocean to find this out?
As his thoughts drifted, the night grew darker.
What do I do now...?
I can't carry this woman all the way to the parking lot, and I'm worried about just getting her a taxi separately.
Tae-joon made a significant decision.
"I'll get the car, wait here. I'll take you home."
Ahem.
As he stood up, making that request, So-eun suddenly snorted. Feeling guilty, Tae-joon immediately interpreted the meaning of the laughter and spoke again as if to persuade her.
"I won't abandon you this time."
But again, she didn't seem to be listening.
"Just stay here. Okay?"
"Yees. Thank youu."
Even so, her drinking habit of seeming to understand his words was quite fascinating. Tae-joon watched So-eun sway and bow precariously, then left her behind and walked to the parking lot. As he turned the corner and So-eun disappeared from view, his pace gradually quickened.
It didn't take long to arrive at the parking lot, pay the parking fee, and pull out the car. There was a slight traffic jam at the intersection, but Tae-joon quickly made a U-turn and returned to the original spot, the bench in front of the convenience store.
However, the bench was empty.
Startled, Tae-joon got out of the car and looked around.
Han So-eun was nowhere to be seen. He scanned the ends of the streets in both directions, but couldn't see anyone who even resembled Han So-eun.
Only her glasses, which she had taken off, were guarding the spot where Han So-eun had been sitting.
She left her glasses and disappeared.
Is she a magician?
Haa.
A rough sigh escaped from between Tae-joon's lips as he picked up the glasses.
I was thinking of taking these off, but she took them off and left on her own.
In his mind, he pictured the woman, swaying and staggering, getting into a taxi and falling asleep inside.
Will she get home okay?
Tae-joon returned to the car with the glasses and took the wheel again.
But as soon as he moved the car, he paused, a brake applied to his mind.
He slammed the steering wheel and leaned back against the seat.
"......"
A low, hoarse curse escaped his lips.
'What a joke.'
What were you trying to do?
What were you going to do by following her home?
Were you going to go and put her glasses on for her?
He went too far today. He made too much of a fuss, unlike his usual self.
He was bothered by a woman who was nothing special, so he went to the bar, and then he happened to meet her on the street and watched her antics like a screw was loose, and then he foolishly rushed back to the car to take her home.
After Han So-eun disappeared like a mirage, he came to his senses and realized how ridiculous and absurd his actions were.
He had returned to Korea early because of curiosity.
He was curious about why Han So-eun had joined K Group, what her true intentions were.
He wanted to know if she knew what her father had done.
And he found out the truth. Han So-eun has no contact with her father. She had simply joined K Group in search of a good company from the perspective of a job seeker.
Now that his curiosity was satisfied, there was no reason to see her anymore, was there?
Tae-joon thought that he must have been possessed by something today and chuckled to himself before moving the car.
Screech.
But the car, which had moved a little, stopped again.
Was that really all there was to it?
Couldn't he have found out that much truth by having a counselor investigate? Wouldn't that have been better?
His heart had been moved when the counselor sent him a picture of Han So-eun.
Under the guise of curiosity, he had come to confirm the real person in the picture.
Yes. That too was just simple curiosity, pure curiosity, but...
Could the heart that had flown all the way to Korea to see the face confirmed in the picture really be pure?
One desire, darkly stagnant, leaped up.
He remembered why he had first tried to find this woman.
Kim Tae-joon. You still wanted to play with that girl.
The next morning.
So-eun opened her eyes gently on the bed in her studio apartment.
As usual, she groped for her glasses on the bed, but there was nothing to be found.
'Where did my glasses go?'
So-eun, who was diligently groping around on the bed, hurriedly took out a pair of emergency glasses from the drawer and put them on. The emergency glasses were old, so the prescription wasn't quite right, and her vision wasn't clear.
She looked in the mirror with blurry vision.
She was a mess. She must have collapsed and fallen asleep without washing. So-eun plugged her phone, which was turned off, into the charger and then took out a bottle of water and drank it. As the water flowed through her parched esophagus, she felt refreshed.
She had a fun dream last night. She couldn't remember the content, but it was so fun that she might have laughed out loud.
A little fatigue was unavoidable. It was only one glass, but her body must have been surprised. Still, it was better than she had feared, but she still reflected on her mistakes. She vowed not to drink alcohol anymore.
After a while, she heard the sound of her phone turning on. As soon as it turned on, So-eun checked the messages she had received overnight.
There were only two text messages. One was a record of purchasing something at a convenience store, and the other was a taxi payment record.
She had no idea what she had bought, how she had caught a taxi, or how she had gotten home.
Anyway, isn't it enough that she got home safely?
After being forced to drink at the bar, she was scolded quite a bit by her boyfriend, Hee-wook. Hee-wook didn't want her to stay there, but she herself felt sad and left the bar first. She seemed very depressed at the time, but now she felt refreshed, as if she had taken everything that had been trapped inside her.
Anyway, where did my glasses go? Where did I leave them?
So-eun, trying to recall what happened yesterday, tilted her head and headed to the bathroom. She had a strange feeling.
'......What is it? This memory.'
Who on earth did I talk to yesterday?
A Suit man flickered before her eyes.
The memory was as blurry as glasses with the wrong prescription.
So-eun, feeling uncomfortable with the old glasses, took out her contact lenses and put them in after washing up. As the blurry world cleared and her vision brightened, she felt like her memory was returning a little more.
Just as something was about to come to mind, she paused again. She felt like the blood was rapidly draining from her face, which had regained its vitality after the shower.
No, what is it? Who is this crazy woman who remains vividly in my mind?
But So-eun immediately shook her head.
It couldn't have been. It must have been a dream.
There's no way I, who am introverted and docile, would have done that.
'I've never caused an accident after drinking before.'
So-eun was certain. She wasn't someone who would let go of herself so easily.
But as So-eun picked up the water bottle again and gulped down the water, she dropped the water bottle with a sudden flash of lightning.
"You wouldn't know about that, Director. You haven't even taken the K Group aptitude test... Lucky you. I envy you."
"You envy that?"
"...You just became a director."
What have I done...?
I'm crazy.
I'm crazy. Han So-eun.
