Chapter 61
- The Word I Hate the Most in the World
2023.06.30.
Even if 'recently' is just a week, considering how Kim Tae-joon had been all over her like an animal, it was understandable to be suspicious.
Tae-joon, who had been mechanically driving with one ear perked up at So-eun's voice, blinked his eyes wide. There was no way he couldn't understand what So-eun's question meant.
"Just, uh..."
"..."
"...Because I want to cherish you?"
But the answer that came out was clumsy, as if it didn't come from Kim Tae-joon's mouth.
Moreover, the core of it was a word that So-eun hated. Not just hated, but loathed.
Because it was what Yang Hee-wook had said.
"I want to cherish your first time. Until we get married."
On the day she thought she would spend her first night with her first boyfriend, Yang Hee-wook had shamelessly spouted such nonsense. So-eun, without even dreaming of the hidden intention behind those words, simply thought Hee-wook was a pure person. Like a fool, she trusted Yang Hee-wook even more than before.
So-eun, her heart throbbing, grumbled.
"The word I hate the most in the world is 'cherish'."
"..."
"Why only cherish with words..."
The sulky voice, dragging at the end, eventually stopped Tae-joon's movements.
"No, I..."
Flustered, Tae-joon fumbled and hastily pulled the car over in front of a quiet roadside rest stop that he saw.
"Look at me."
At the soft request, So-eun's eyes, which had been fixed on the window, turned to Tae-joon. The woman's eyes were speaking. She was a woman who couldn't hide anything in her gaze. Half dissatisfied and half resentful, those eyes craving affection were so radiant that he wanted to devour her right then and there.
"Are you serious?"
As Tae-joon opened the floor for a serious conversation, So-eun bit her lower lip shyly before continuing.
"It's not like I desperately want it or anything. I was just wondering why the director, who was making my life so difficult just a week ago, isn't even touching me."
"..."
"Even the blanket, you just roll up in it by yourself and sleep."
"…I thought you wouldn't like it if I made your life difficult."
"I never said I didn't like it."
So-eun tilted her head, looking wronged, and stared directly at Tae-joon. It was an incredibly serious situation, but this woman was also incredibly cute, and Tae-joon resented the fact that they were in the car right now.
"So I was just wondering if I've become lacking, or if you haven't been feeling well lately, or if there's been some... functional... problem... I was worried."
Swoosh. Tae-joon rose from his seat and cast a large shadow over So-eun's eyes. His hand, as if stealing her chin, grabbed it and pulled her toward him. A faint scream escaped from the lips that were swallowed without hesitation. What was even more amazing was that she had been grumbling about whether or not to do it, but even with this kiss, she was struggling so much that it was amusing.
"It's because of this."
It's because of this that I keep losing my mind.
I want to treat you well, why.
"Why do you keep making me out to be a bad guy?"
His murmur flowed over her reddened lips. Her eyes, widened as if she had met a real bad guy, were like those of a startled deer.
"There's no functional problem, and I've never felt you were lacking."
"..."
"Han So-eun is more than enough."
She still didn't seem to know how much Tae-joon liked her.
Why provoke me? Without knowing how hard I'm trying to hold back.
The night when he poured out his desires on this woman who knew nothing, as he pleased, came to mind, and he couldn't do anything.
Even after confirming that she was gasping for breath as if frightened and even showed tears, he ignored it for his own desires, like a beast so eager to devour her that it was restless, repeatedly pulling her closer and closer as she tried to sleep peacefully. He didn't know how to compensate for that time.
Without knowing what condition your body was in, I acted like such a crazy bastard. I only took care of my desires like a madman.
Wasn't that day awful? Wasn't it too painful?
Because she was a woman who always said she was okay, because she didn't even show any signs of having gone through such a big deal, he was worried. So he had been trying to endure it.
The heart that had been barely holding on like a flimsy house of cards, ready to collapse with a single touch, crumbled without a care at So-eun's one word.
If you want it, what am I to endure this for?
Tae-joon decided not to look for other excuses.
Tae-joon, who had been gazing intently at her, put strength into his thighs and returned to his seat.
"Then let's go to my place."
There seemed to be no need to argue any further. Tae-joon reset the destination.
\
The navigation system clearly said it would take more than two hours to reach the destination, but Kim Tae-joon covered that distance in an hour. There was definitely some switch that had been flipped.
As if worried that So-eun would run away, he held her tightly and got on the elevator. As soon as he entered the front door, he picked her up and went straight to the bedroom. So-eun was terrified because he seemed so urgent.
Tae-joon, who had placed her on the bed, threw off his T-shirt at once, as if unable to contain his heat.
Is this man working out to scare me? They had spent several nights together, but he seemed even bigger today. So-eun unconsciously moved her hips back. Tae-joon grabbed her waist and pulled her close to him. Kisses poured down like the rain they had watched all afternoon yesterday.
Lips touched, clothes were lifted, and lips touched that spot again. Lips tickled, and hands moved boldly. Her whole body throbbed with breathless gasps. He had taken her mind away from the beginning, so So-eun belatedly realized one important fact.
"Ah, Director."
"..."
"This seems a bit bright."
So-eun said urgently. The low-light Bed lamp was creating shadows on his face, as if outlining it.
A wild glint flashed in his eyes, inwardly annoyed at being disturbed before dismembering his prey.
He indifferently cast his gaze at the Bed lamp and then turned his head back.
"It's okay. Let's do it like this."
It was a direct order filled with power. It meant there was no choice. You said let's do it first, so you have to tolerate this much, his eyes seemed to be saying.
So-eun, flustered, struggled. An unbearable weight pressed down on her lower body. He brought his body close to hers and soothed her.
"It's okay."
"..."
"It's really okay."
It was a gentle voice that made his tremendous strength feel like a lie. As if it was really okay and nothing really mattered.
She tried to say something in the gap where their lips parted, but she couldn't quite form the words.
Is it really okay? The surgical scar has healed now, leaving only a faint line, so will it not be visible?
Is it okay to just not say anything and show myself like this, to this extent?
She had been selfishly taking care of her own desires even while thinking she wanted to give everything, but now she really wanted to give everything, which was a big problem. If he was okay with it, it seemed okay, and if he wanted it, she wanted to do it that way.
Is it really okay? Is my body really okay?
It was what he wanted, but it was also in line with her wishes.
Look at me. Don't look at my scars, look at me.
Before she knew it, So-eun hugged his neck and let her desires flow into his arms.
Tae-joon felt sorry to see her with tears welling up before anything had even started, but he stubbornly kept the light on.
He had no intention of yielding this time. It was for her sake. He wanted to be able to watch her face and body to see if she was okay, or if she was pretending to be okay. To continue the relationship, they couldn't keep floundering in the dark like that. The brighter the better, but Tae-joon thought that level was a reasonable compromise.
But in the end, it seemed to be his own greed.
Even under the low-light lighting, she was heartbreakingly beautiful. Unprepared exclamations burst out one after another. Her constantly embarrassed face also kept him from calming down his excitement. She whined as if she had lost control, but it was Tae-joon who had been irresistible all along. The time he had firmly resolved to do it only once kept getting longer.
\
While So-eun was showering, Tae-joon went to another bathroom to shower and came back.
Tae-joon, who had taken a step back and stared silently at So-eun, who had already taken her place on the bed, came up onto the bed and instead of lying next to So-eun, he pulled her hips and sat her in front of him.
So-eun tensed up as a conditioned reflex, as Tae-joon had often pounced on her after she had showered.
The shoulders of the man who used to enjoy pull-ups but had switched to two-hour workouts were so big that they completely enveloped So-eun. The subtle scent of soap spreading behind her seemed to awaken her from her fatigue.
A hand reaching out from behind caressed her hand as if enveloping it, then moved up and tickled her chin.
"What do you like so much about me?"
So-eun knew very well how sensual his hands were, so she flinched every time his fingertips moved as if tracing her lips.
In the midst of all that, she had to answer.
His face, body, height, wealth, strength, and even that personality that was a bit difficult to fully acknowledge, she couldn't talk about any of that, so she hesitated about what to say. She knew that this man was just enjoying her hesitation, but even so, the diligent So-eun wanted to give him a good answer. Like a gift.
The moment I fell in love with this man again. Ah.
"I once fell for your handwriting."
Then, remembering sometime, So-eun said excitedly. So-eun recalled seeing his note that morning when she had been carried by Tae-joon and ended up occupying the bed.
"There seem to be a lot of men with pretty handwriting, but it's actually not that common."
"..."
"Having pretty handwriting might be something you're born with, but it could also mean you've written a lot, or that you've put in that much effort to write that way. Either way, it was cool, so I fell for you then."
So-eun had spoken excitedly for the first time in a while, but Tae-joon's reaction was lukewarm.
"Not me, but my handwriting?"
"Is that not allowed?"
"So you'd fall for another guy if he had better handwriting than me?"
Huh. He badgered her to give him praise, and when she gave it to him.
So-eun turned her head and glared at Tae-joon, then raised her hand and stroked his cheek as he had done to her.
"At times like that, you just say, 'Thank you for the compliment.' That's what you do."
His eyes followed her fingertips, and he didn't miss the chance to bite her hand where it touched his lips. So-eun, surprised by the sudden attack, screamed and tried to pull her body away, but his strength increased. So-eun was unable to move in his arms. Even so, there was nothing explicit. So-eun was happy, liking the sense of stability he gave her, even while wondering, 'Why only once today?'
It's good to be swept away and burn the night away, but it's also good to hug like this and have fun conversations, So-eun thought.
After having a friendly conversation, Tae-joon, noticing that So-eun's lips were dry, went to get water.
Whirr.
In the meantime, her cell phone vibrated. So-eun, thinking it was a message on her cell phone, reached out and her expression hardened when she saw the name that flashed and disappeared on Tae-joon's cell phone screen, which was placed next to hers.
It was the name 'Choi Hyun-ji'.
