Chapter 22
- Like Dust
2023.05.22.
A superior like the sky, promising to be there for me.
There was a desire to lean on someone who was preying on my weakened heart.
But, that didn't mean I could use a superior like the sky as a receptacle for my emotions. Moreover, I didn't want to have to feel sorry or grateful to the other person. All my energy for expressing emotions had been exhausted. So-eun was grateful for Tae-joon's kindness, but she refused.
"It's okay."
"That man..."
"I'm going to sort things out now. Don't worry about it."
So-eun coldly brushed him off.
Perhaps, when tomorrow comes and I have to live diligently again, I might regret it. Having been so firm with a superior like the sky.
Tae-joon replied.
"I've come to know too much to not worry about it halfway through."
"No. The Director doesn't know anything."
There's no way you could know my past, my lingering feelings. What I gave to Yang Hee-wook.
I didn't want to talk anymore, but I felt sorry for Tae-joon, who kept trying to get involved. So-eun raised her voice to draw a line.
"Director, haven't you had difficult times?"
"......"
"Who was there for you then?"
His eyes widened for a moment. His pretty eyes, which seemed to have grown up without knowing hardship, looked innocent again. It seemed like a direct hit.
"Then, have you ever liked an idol?"
"......Why would I like something like that?"
"That's right. You wouldn't understand."
In high school, celebrities who comforted ordinary friends who wandered around without wanting to be anything, saying, 'You are a precious person,' 'You are a lovely person,' became idols. As time passed, even when those idols caused accidents and acted like complete thugs, the friends couldn't cut off their feelings at once. They even insisted that their idols wouldn't do that.
People understand as much as they have experienced. I couldn't understand those feelings back then, but now I can understand them all.
Yang Hee-wook was the first person to enter So-eun's insignificant life. He was the man who told So-eun, who had never been loved before, that she was a pretty person, that she was a lovely person. Because of that man, I came to love that man's world. I was so full of love and so sincere that I couldn't think of anything else. It was such a firm belief.
A dangerously firm belief.
So-eun forced a smile, slightly raising the corners of her mouth to Tae-joon, who couldn't say anything, and said goodbye.
"Thank you so much for walking me home. Goodbye."
So-eun turned around, quickly opened the car door, and ran into her house.
\
The next day, in the afternoon.
Knock, knock. Chief Song Mun-gyeong, the secretary, knocked and entered Tae-joon's office.
"Director, Han So-eun has taken sick leave today."
I know.
It was something I had checked early in the morning by visiting the Mobile Service Team. Tae-joon replied with a blank expression.
"I understand."
Mun-gyeong nodded and turned around. Tae-joon called out to Mun-gyeong.
"Chief Song."
"Yes, Director."
"There's a device that Han So-eun was working on. It's a folder phone for a customer who is turning eighty this year, and I think that customer is waiting a lot."
Tae-joon instructed, continuing his work as if he were handling tedious office matters.
"Check if the handover was done properly and if there are any difficulties."
"Yes. Should I contact that customer?"
"No. To Han So-eun."
"I don't know if she'll answer the phone while she's on sick leave... Should I ask the Mobile Service Team? Who took over the handover."
"Do it to Han So-eun."
"......"
"Check if she's still alive, too."
Tae-joon spoke with emphasis, as if Mun-gyeong didn't understand his intention well. Mun-gyeong blinked a few times and replied with a slightly nervous expression.
"Yes. I understand."
After Mun-gyeong left, Tae-joon, who was clicking the PC mouse with an indifferent expression, let out a long sigh.
Yesterday, the words So-eun had left before leaving the car were playing repeatedly in Tae-joon's head.
"No. The Director doesn't know anything."
"......"
"Director, haven't you had difficult times?"
"......"
"Who was there for you then?"
That idiot had a talent for digging into people's hearts without even realizing it.
Difficult times. Of course, I had them.
20 years ago, when my parents passed away, and I was left alone in the world.
The despair of that time still hurts Tae-joon even after 20 years.
That was when I met you.
You don't know anything. You can say those things because you don't know.
To Tae-joon, Han So-eun was still a pathetic, frustrating, foolish, and hateful person. He was angry at himself for caring so much about that hateful person.
Still, somehow, he was worried that she might be very sick.
I wonder if she told him to break up. Is she suffering from the aftereffects of the breakup?
I hoped that her useless heartache wouldn't last long.
\
Yulkyu Law Firm.
Lawyer Lee Chan-il followed Hee-wook, who had returned from court because of the trial.
"Lawyer Yang."
"Yes, Senior."
"It's a shame about this matter."
"What do you mean?"
"This business trip didn't go well. The headhunter contacted me and said that it would be difficult to proceed."
Hee-wook's face, which had been bright, hardened. The headhunter was so sure that he had almost secured the contract that Hee-wook returned home full of expectations. But, the words changed in just one day.
"So, Director Kim Tae-joon seems very disappointed. He says let's cancel the contract."
Hee-wook's heart sank at Chan-il's next words.
Chairman Kim Jae-pil of K Group's only grandson. The second in line to inherit...
I was having such a happy dream.
Hee-wook asked, stammering in embarrassment.
"C-can you just unilaterally notify us like this?"
"We got the business trip expenses, and we'll bill for the labor costs. That's enough."
"......"
"Just think of it as a good experience. Good job, Lawyer Yang."
Chan-il patted Hee-wook on the shoulder and left. Hee-wook's strength drained from his shoulders. In the meantime, Hyun-ji popped out of the conference room, smiling.
"Oppa!"
Hee-wook subtly glanced around, as if her voice was too loud, and then told her the news he had just heard.
"We got fired."
"The company fired us? Because of the affair?"
"I'm not even married, what affair? Kim Tae-joon just fired us."
"Then what about the money?"
"They said they sent the business trip expenses, and there's no success bonus because we didn't succeed."
Chairman Kim Jae-pil of K Group's only grandson. The second in line to inherit. That would have been great.
I gnashed my teeth at the fish I had missed.
"Ugh, this is crazy. Kim Tae-joon, is it all about having a lot of money? He thinks he can make fun of lawyers."
"Hey, it's okay, Oppa."
Hyun-ji comforted Hee-wook.
"It's okay if we got the business trip expenses. I had a good time with you, Oppa."
How can she be so positive? Hee-wook was pleased with the bright appearance that he had never felt from Han So-eun.
Hee-wook dragged Hyun-ji into the empty conference room. I was wondering if I could kiss her while no one was around.
Drrr. The phone vibrated. It was his sister, Yang Hee-jin.
This sister is no help at all.
At the worst timing, Hee-wook let out a rough breath, and Hyun-ji giggled and left. Hee-wook answered the phone sullenly.
"Yeah, what is it."
[Did you get any contact from So-eun?]
Hee-jin's voice sounded anxious, as if she was being chased by something.
I haven't contacted So-eun. So-eun asked Hyun-ji to tell her about the surgery, and I was so dumbfounded that I haven't been able to contact her yet. But I was worried that So-eun might do something rash.
"No, why?"
Hee-wook closed the conference room door and asked urgently.
[Oh, what should I do? I got caught, what should I do?]
"What did you get caught doing?"
Hee-jin confessed, sobbing.
[Yesterday, our Hyung-woo went to the hospital with Mom... and he told So-eun that I'm type O.]
"......What?"
[Our Hyung-woo can't lie... What should I do?]
"Hey! I told you to be careful in front of Han So-eun!"
Suddenly. Hee-wook shouted so loudly that the company echoed, even though he had closed the conference room door.
Sister, nephew, whatever, they were people I didn't even want to associate with.
*
So-eun, who had taken sick leave, lay still in bed and spent her time leisurely.
I can't believe I can take sick leave so easily, why was I trying so hard to go to work like a child obsessed with perfect attendance?
The midday sunlight coming through the window was very beautiful. The sunlight you see when you work and the sunlight you see when you rest were on different levels. So-eun traced the sunlight that came in, drawing lines with the shape of the window. In the unusually bright straight space, the dust in the house was seen fluttering like golden powder.
"This is called 'Migeum'. Dust like gold powder."
I don't remember well, but someone from my childhood said this.
Dust like gold powder. It's a pretty word, but it's still dust.
Dust that I mistook for gold powder.
Dust that I mistook for love.
It wasn't love, it was lingering attachment. Now I have to end this lingering attachment.
But, even if I decide to end it, my heart softens.
Honestly, isn't it a waste?
Honestly, it is a waste.
Yang Hee-wook is a person who values face, so if I insist on marriage, it might go according to her wishes. He might reluctantly marry me.
But the place I occupy would be a gutter.
I can't live my whole life as a couple with a man who doesn't even love me.
I want to be loved a little more, I want to be respected a little more.
Rather than being bound by that thought and living my whole life being mindful of others, it would be better to live my own way without wanting anything.
Still, honestly, isn't it a waste?
Can you cut him off like that, and leave empty-handed without anything in your hands?
Shouldn't you claim alimony to feel better?
Selfish thoughts popped out like sharp thorns.
But I can't do that.
I don't want to put a price on my decision.
When I went on the operating table, I vowed not to regret it no matter what happened. So that's enough now.
It's okay. I saved a person.
And, it was my choice.
There was a time when I was hated for no reason, even though it wasn't my choice. How rewarding is it compared to that time?
I did a rewarding job, so it's okay.
While comforting her heart, which no one comforted, the phone vibrated. Unexpectedly, it was Chief Song Mun-gyeong.
"Hello."
So-eun answered the phone with a hoarse voice.
[Han, it's me. Song Mun-gyeong.]
"Yes, Chief, hello."
[The Director told me to contact you.]
"Is there something wrong? I took a day off today."
[Yeah. He said you were in charge of repairing the folder phone, and he told me to find out if the handover went well.]
Here I go again. I thought he was calling because he was worried about me.
So-eun laughed weakly. In some ways, it was an interest that was truly like Director Kim Tae-joon.
"Yes. I asked a colleague. If you're curious about the progress, you can contact Jang Eun-pyo, the head of the Mobile Service Team."
[Ah, okay. I'll tell him that. How's your body?]
"It's okay. I'll go to work tomorrow."
[Okay. Get some rest.]
"Yes. Thank you for contacting me."
[But are you eating well? You have to eat well when you're sick.]
"Yes. I'll eat well."
[I can tell from your voice that you're just saying that and not eating?]
I was trying to finish the call roughly, but the conversation continued as if it was about to be cut off.
[I'll send you a gift certificate, so order delivery from a nearby porridge shop. Okay?]
"No, you don't have to do that."
[That makes me feel better. Then get well soon and let's see you in good health.]
"......Yes. Thank you."
Chief Song Mun-gyeong was a person full of affection.
I think that there is no such thing as kindness without a reason in the world, but thanks to good people like Chief Song Mun-gyeong, I regain my strength and try to have hope again.
Even people who don't know anything about my situation are worried about me like this, so I can't collapse.
Let's sort things out well.
If I sort things out cleanly, I can start cleanly.
So-eun was finally able to smile with relief. Her fingers pressing Hee-wook's phone number weren't that heavy.
