Chapter 19
- Please Don't Say Kind Words
2023.05.19.
So-eun, who had been trying to maintain her composure, felt a surge of emotion. It was true that Hyun-ji's thoughtless words had bothered her, but So-eun had definitely not pushed Hyun-ji on purpose.
"We bumped into each other; I didn't intentionally bump into her. So, please don't misunderstand. You don't need to worry about my feelings either."
So-eun was upset that she had to harden her expression and speak to Hyun-ji, who was talking with a gentle smile, but she conveyed what she wanted to say properly. She decided not to hold back any words that would make her sick if she didn't say them.
Afterward, So-eun escorted Hee-wook and Hyun-ji to the parking lot.
"So-eun, it was nice meeting you. Let's see each other again."
"Yes. Have a good business trip."
"Oh, right, So-eun needs to check our refrigerator. I'll invite you over sometime."
"Yes."
After Hyun-ji exchanged trivial greetings with So-eun and got into the car first, Hee-wook asked So-eun before getting into the driver's seat.
"My father said he's coming at 3 PM. Just stay with Mom until then. Please."
"Okay. Have a good trip. I hope you have good results."
"Okay. I'll contact you when I get back."
"Okay. And, Oppa, I have a favor to ask."
So-eun grabbed Hee-wook, who was about to turn around. She felt like she would regret it if she didn't say it now, so she mustered her courage. It was a childish and petty request, but she still hoped he would grant it.
"I'm a little upset that you didn't tell anyone about my surgery. Other people are fine, but I wish you would tell Lawyer Choi Hyunji."
"What? Hey."
But Hee-wook opened his mouth with a shocked expression.
"What kind of bad luck is this on an important business trip..."
Hee-wook's eyes, looking at So-eun as if he was dumbfounded, seemed to be on the opposite side of affection.
"That's already been discussed."
"I want to get closer to Lawyer Choi Hyunji too. If she's coming all the way to the hospital, it's right to tell her. It's ridiculous to hide it."
"No, why are you bringing that up out of the blue? Are you secretly praying for my business trip to fail?"
"What nonsense are you talking about?"
"That's what your argument is saying."
When his voice became excessively loud and echoed through the parking lot, Hee-wook closed his mouth for a moment before speaking quietly again.
"Why are you acting so cheap?"
"Isn't that too harsh?"
"No, what you said was harsher. How long are you going to keep bringing that up? If I knew you were going to take so much credit for it, I would have tried my best to stop you when you said you would have the surgery."
"...What?"
"So-eun, I'm really sorry, but."
I'm really tired of this now.
Hee-wook had one more word to say, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. There was an irreversible end in it.
"...No. Let's talk when I get back."
Hee-wook got into the car as if he were running away. Without even saying goodbye to So-eun, who was looking at him with resentful eyes, he immediately drove the car out of the parking lot.
"Oppa, what's wrong? Did you fight with So-eun again?"
Hyun-ji asked with a worried expression.
"No. Don't worry about it."
He and Choi Hyun-ji now had mutual feelings. He had to end things with Han So-eun as soon as possible.
But even while thinking that he was tired of her, he desired Han So-eun's body.
All women are the same, and if he just held her once, he would really get tired of her.
She was the woman who had given his mother a part of her liver and had surgery scars on her body because of it, so of course, if he just held her once, the affection he had for her would naturally disappear cleanly.
That day was not far off. Hee-wook just needed to find out a lot of Han So-eun's weaknesses so that Han So-eun wouldn't cry and cling to him, and wouldn't threaten him with betrayal when that day came.
*
Late afternoon, nearing evening. The Future Service Team office.
So-eun was engrossed in disassembling an old-fashioned flip phone. No, in fact, she was full of distractions.
It felt like her heart was broken. It felt like one part was blocked, preventing proper thinking.
'I'm someone who fixes broken things. But I can't fix myself.'
She had vowed not to fight with Hee-wook anymore, but because she was being stubborn, their relationship, which had barely improved, seemed to have worsened.
'No. Still, I did well. At least I said what I wanted to say.'
So-eun comforted herself for taking a little courage and continued to fix the phone.
Her prospective father-in-law, who had gone to an important golf meeting, returned at 4 PM. After leaving the hospital, So-eun thought about going home, but she went to the company instead. She thought that if she worked, she might feel better.
Fixing machines is an attractive job. It's satisfying to identify the problem with the machine's defect, make a hypothesis about which parts need to be replaced for the machine to work, and then see the machine move according to that hypothesis. It was also rewarding to meet people who were happy after seeing the machine she had repaired.
'I should have just lived my life working hard without dating.'
She was satisfied with that kind of life when she was only working.
While thinking about various things and comforting her heart, she heard footsteps beside her. She turned her head in the direction of the sound.
Kim Tae-joon, the director, who usually showed only thin eyes like someone who lived with his eyes only half open, was looking at her with round eyes that were 100% expanded for some reason.
"Hello, Director."
"Why are you here on the weekend?"
He seemed surprised by her weekend work.
"I came out because I wanted to work."
"And you're going to request special pay for it?"
"Is that not allowed?"
"It doesn't seem like you're doing Future Service Team work right now?"
"But it's still company work..."
"K Electronic Service doesn't make people work on Saturday afternoons."
"Aren't you here to work too, Director?"
"Are you saying I'm the same as you?"
Yes. You're different...
So-eun mumbled and fiddled with the phone again.
"Besides, you're fixing a flip phone. What a waste of time."
Tae-joon glared sharply again and pointed out.
"I think it's precious to want to keep using things without throwing any of them away."
"How is that precious? It's foolish."
Tae-joon was criticizing the customer who was still using a flip phone, but So-eun felt strangely stung. It felt like he was scolding her for stubbornly holding on to a fading relationship.
But she still felt wronged.
She wanted to explain to Tae-joon why she was fixing this phone now.
"There's a customer who always came to me. She's eighty years old this year, and she says it has to be this phone. She can't afford to buy a new one, and she doesn't know if she'll die tomorrow or the day after, so she can't throw away what she's been using and buy a new one. It's even more impossible because she has difficulty operating smartphones."
"..."
"She contacted me personally, and I should have fixed it and given it to her today, but I couldn't. I would have fixed it if I had come to work this morning."
K Electronic Service is open on Saturday mornings every other week. Of course, it's a system where only employees who want to work do so. If So-eun had gone to work without going to the hospital, the customer would have been able to receive the phone sooner.
"So, I'm worried about it. I was wondering if I could fix it now since I thought of it."
"...There's no reason why not."
"..."
"But don't overwork yourself. There's nothing more foolish than working hard on the weekend and then groaning on weekdays."
He was worried about her body. In that indifferent tone.
It was nothing special, just lip service from a boss.
"Fix it quickly and go home. Don't stubbornly hold on to something that can't be fixed."
A warm liquid pooled in her throat, and So-eun couldn't answer Tae-joon's concern.
Perhaps sensing something strange because he didn't hear an answer, Tae-joon called her.
"Hey."
"..."
"Team Leader Han So-eun."
So-eun couldn't answer and lowered her head.
Please don't say kind words.
No, don't touch me. Because it feels like I'm going to burst into tears.
A person who has layered clothes against the storms of the world will not be shaken by any harsh or rough words. However, they may crumble absurdly easily with just one warm word.
Before she knew it, he grabbed So-eun's chair and turned her around.
"Are you okay? You look very tired."
Tae-joon, who had narrowed his brow with a serious expression, bent down and matched his eye level with hers.
"Tell me what's wrong. I'll listen."
A gentle voice with a warm temperature penetrated the deepest part of her heart.
Before she knew it, So-eun's arm was held in Tae-joon's hand. Tae-joon had inadvertently grabbed So-eun's arm. The grip was loose, but So-eun couldn't move.
Only her pupils trembled precariously like a candle in the wind.
Tae-joon's kind voice, serious eyes, and warm touch made So-eun conflicted.
But still, she couldn't lean on a moment of kindness.
"It's nothing."
"Did you fight with your boyfriend again?"
So-eun denied it, but Tae-joon knew her situation like a ghost.
"You fought. Should I curse him out with you?"
At those words, a laugh leaked out. Even in a frustrating and desperate situation, laughter could arise. With her eyes glistening with moisture, So-eun bit her lip tightly to swallow her laughter.
Thanks to Tae-joon's one word, her heart felt a little lighter. It felt like she had received unexpected comfort.
Let's solve it myself. It's something I can do.
"No."
"..."
"It's my fault."
It wasn't that the fight was her fault, Han So-eun's fault. It meant that she shouldn't rely on a completely unrelated third party, Director Kim Tae-joon. It meant that she couldn't discuss personal matters with Director Kim Tae-joon. But it could only sound frustrating to Tae-joon's ears.
"Why does Team Leader Han So-eun always blame everything on herself?"
"..."
"You said you would date while being respected."
Unlike So-eun, who had a smile on her face, Tae-joon's expression became more rigid. It was as if the strength in his grip had hardened, and So-eun was now unable to escape while being held by Tae-joon.
Come to think of it, it was the first time he had come so close. It was also the first time he had stared at her for several minutes, holding her as if he were watching her in case she ran away. The strength holding her arm was also so strong that So-eun couldn't move an inch.
No, even without that grip, it was an eye that made people unable to move. It felt like the emotions that had been arbitrarily suppressed had burst out because they couldn't handle their density. She was so close that she couldn't breathe, and it felt like she was really going to be eaten. Thump, thump. Her heart was shaking for an unknown reason. So intensely that she wished someone would hold her.
The moment of laughter soon subsided. So-eun asked in a trembling voice.
"Director."
"..."
"Let me go."
Tae-joon's eyes widened. He seemed to realize belatedly that he had been holding her like that. Like a machine whose ignition was not fully on, Tae-joon slowly released his hand.
So-eun immediately cleaned up her things.
"I'll leave work first. I'll fix the phone on Monday."
She felt like she shouldn't be alone with him in the company on a weekend evening when no one else was there.
So-eun ran out of the office as if she were escaping.
Tae-joon, who was left alone, was dazed for a moment before running his hand through his hair and getting up from his seat.
Suddenly, he was worried that that idiot would get hurt.
A woman who was so devoted even while being treated like that by her boyfriend and his family. A woman who was so righteous like a moral textbook.
It would all be over tomorrow.
Tomorrow, he wouldn't be able to sleep because he was worried and felt sorry for that idiot who would bitterly realize how foolish she had been.
