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As Your Heart Leads You Chapter 28 – Close Enough to Touch

Previously

Roderick returns from the hunt and presents Lee-jae with a live squirrel he rescued, which she finds logical yet surprising. Their lighthearted reunion sours when Lee-jae perceives a dark snake spirit clinging to Roderick, revealing he killed a snake during his trip.

Listen Well to Your Wife (Part 4)

After returning from the hunt, Roderick stayed away from the Queen’s chambers for a time.

Whether it was the sting of her hatred for snakes or disbelief that he could do such a thing, the wound lingered longer than expected.

Seeing her weep so sorrowfully over another man made him all the more guarded.

Though she was his wife, they had somehow settled into separate beds.

Yet he refused to force her.

After all, he acknowledged that he and the Duke were the ones responsible for this marriage.

Consequently, Roderick’s insomnia flared, and his temper grew shorter by the day.

He dozed fitfully and reached up to rub his brow.

It was an early sign of the madness returning.

Arriving outside the King’s bedchamber in the early morning, Jade asked the valet, “How is His Majesty feeling?”

“He slept poorly. Truly, he does not seem to be in good spirits.”

Jade’s expression turned grim, prompting the valet to suggest cautiously,

“I believe it is time to call upon Her Majesty.”
“Let us observe him a little longer.”

They timed when to summon the suppression team—the Queen—with utter seriousness now.

Jade entered the royal bedchamber and studied his friend’s pallor.

Jade, who had urged restraint, could only repeat the servant’s suggestion once he saw the King’s face.

“Your Majesty, rather than continuing like this, why not go see Her Majesty the Queen?”

It was truly bizarre, yet everyone had no choice but to accept the phenomenon as it was.

The King slept soundly and appeared at peace whenever he was with the Queen.

Roderick frowned.

“She said she disliked it.”
“Well… Rather than saying it to Your Majesty, was it not simply that catching a snake was repulsive? Indeed, quite a few knights feel the same way.”
“I am thrilled that men who cannot even handle a snake are the knights of Cayenne. As the commander of the knights, you share the blame.”

Roderick clicked his tongue, calling it pathetic.

The King lasted only four days.

There are people who overestimate their health and refuse to trust hospitals.

Yet even they will seek a doctor when the pain becomes unbearable, no matter who tries to stop them.

The patient Roderick, having fallen into this habit without realizing it, walked to the hospital on his own.

Lee-jae, having received word of the King’s arrival, welcomed him with quiet pleasure.

Entering her room, Roderick wore no expression at all. He simply rubbed his face and smiled.

“The air is different again.”

The strange sounds that sometimes whispered in his ears were absent as well.

That was because wicked spirits could not enter this room.

The King realized he truly was mad.

Yet if he was doomed to lose his mind anyway, this kind of madness was far preferable.

At least no blood was shed when it took this form.

Even so, it did cause the Queen a bit of trouble.

“You have arrived?”
“Yes.”

Sitting on the sofa, Roderick spoke bluntly,

“How could you not look in on me even once?”

"…"

“You know I cannot sleep without you.”

The King tilted his head slightly even as the words left his mouth.

He had spoken without thinking, but once said, it felt true.

Was he truly unable to sleep without the Queen?

“I wished to see you as well.”
“Truly?”
“Yes. I was a bit worried.”
“About what?”

Worried you might have terrible dreams again tonight.

Worried you might suffer all alone.

Lee-jae offered a small smile instead of answering, but Roderick felt a wave of relief.

“Then you should visit sometime too. You do not need to bring a pillow. There are two in my room as well.”

Lee-jae called her mental checklist to mind.

Item number one—visiting His Majesty’s bedchamber—seemed well within reach.

Roderick pulled Lee-jae onto the sofa and rested his head on her lap, just as he had grown accustomed to doing.

Having struggled to sleep ever since the hunting competition, he took her hand and pressed it to his face.

“Please do it.”

"…"

“Try touching me.”

Lee-jae burst out laughing.

Despite his broad frame, he seemed oddly endearing in that moment.

As she began pressing her soft fingertips across his head, Roderick felt that familiar sensation wash over him.

His body grew impossibly light, and his sharp, frayed nerves melted into ease.

Roderick gazed up at Lee-jae with deep blue eyes.

He caught her hand as it moved over him.

“Hailey, have you studied medicine? Or did you attend a temple? Did you intend to become a priestess or something of the sort?”

Roderick was the King; he knew the history of Cayenne better than anyone.

Though people dismissed it as mere myth, such mysterious power had once existed on this continent. Still, nearly four hundred years had passed since it vanished completely.

Lee-jae replied evasively.

“I have done nothing of the sort. Well, you could say it is similar. The wish for someone to be well is much the same.”
“Truly, my mind clears whenever I am with you. Why is that?”

He wore an expression of genuine curiosity.

Others might have thought the King was playing tricks again, but Lee-jae knew his suspicion was well-founded.

Rather than making excuses or confessing, she offered something else.

“Your Majesty, use me.”
“Use you?”
“Yes. If you struggle to sleep, use me as a pillow. We are still some distance from sharing a blanket.”
“Ah, so you are leaving the blanket open as a possibility? Still, it feels rather cold to ask that when we are a married couple. When we are together… am I the only one who feels at ease?”

Lee-jae shook her head.

“I enjoy talking with Your Majesty as well. It is pleasant.”

Roderick, who had been studying her quietly, spoke abruptly.

“Then do you want to kiss me again?”

She flinched and stared down at him.

“Your Majesty asked for a massage, yet here I am working so hard that I am sweating! What am I to do when you say such things to someone doing her very best?”
“It was a joke. Can a married couple not joke like that?”

Yet Roderick, who had not been joking in the slightest, soon spoke with genuine candor.

“Still, if you reject me so harshly, I end up hurt as well. At least offer your husband a little hope.”
“…Were you hurt?”
“…Yes.”

Lee-jae looked genuinely concerned.

Then, after a brief hesitation, she leaned down.

Just as she was about to pull away after kissing each of his cheeks, Roderick rose.

He pinned Lee-jae against the sofa, catching both of her wrists.

“You must be a fox. Do you have a tail hidden away? I cannot check beneath your dress. Ah, I believe I caught a glimpse of it on our wedding night.”

As his hand slid toward her leg, Lee-jae twisted away, laughing.

“Ah, why are you being like this?”
“Why? Will you do it again? How sweet.”

He lightly pinched the Queen’s lovely cheek and released her.

“Hailey. Let us do it again.”

"…"

“I want to be sure.”
“…Of what?”

What had that feeling been back then?

Why had she cried, and why had he longed to kiss her?

Lee-jae closed her eyes.

The attendants turned their heads away as the royal couple embraced on the sofa, sharing a deep kiss.

Yet unlike before, no matter how long they waited, there was no sign of it ending, so the servants quietly slipped out of the room.

Roderick, pulling back for a breath, murmured,

“Hailey.”

"…"

“My hands keep wandering of their own accord.”

He cast a meaningful glance down her frame.

“Goodness. I had no idea you were such a rogue.”
“You’ve rather enjoyed marriage, haven’t you?”

Lee-jae laughed softly at how quickly Roderick echoed her own words.

She took his hand.

“Your Majesty, it is quite unlike you to ask to hold my hand.”
“Everything is changing, isn’t it? What wouldn’t I say just to hold your hand?”

In truth, he had been mildly irritated by how often the Queen pulled her hand away, which made him chuckle.

Then he buried his lips against hers once more.

If the kiss before the hunt had been courtly and restrained, this one was far more ravenous and instinctive.

Without much experience, she could not be certain, but that was how it felt.

Roderick brushed his thumb over her swollen lips.

The King finally understood what that lingering sensation had been.

A feeling deeper than mere liking had begun to take root in his chest.

Unbeknownst to him, that fondness had quietly grown.

He scooped Lee-jae into his arms as he stood.

Lee-jae tensed slightly as the King laid her on the bed and followed her down.

If moving to the bed followed a kiss like that, she assumed she knew what came next.

Instead, Roderick asked,

“Hailey. Did you care for Lawrence that much?”

"…"

“Enough to weep just watching him from afar?”
“I suppose so.”

Lee-jae felt an ache in her chest once more.

She readily acknowledged Hailey’s lingering feelings.

Yet she dismissed them just as quickly.

“Even so, Your Majesty, it is all in the past. It is natural for feelings to fade in time.”

"…"

“This too will pass soon enough.”

Roderick stared at the Queen.

His wife sometimes spoke like an elder nearing the end of life.

Yet her words carried a strange, arresting weight.

Did other people not notice this about her?

“I will not rush you. But make sure of one thing.”
“What is that?”
“Do not simply try to forget Lawrence. Settle your heart properly.”

"…"

“Let us begin our real relationship once you are truly at peace.”

“…You are a remarkably good husband.”

For an arranged union thrown together haphazardly, it seemed surprisingly successful.

Lee-jae reflected that this new life might not be an absolute curse.

Still, lying in bed with the divide between this world and the other hanging over her, a quiet sorrow stirred within.

“Hailey.”
“Yes?”
“Shall I lend you my arm as a pillow again?”

Lee-jae shook her head.

“It is heavy. Will you be all right?”
“If that pea-sized head of yours were heavy, how could I ever wield a sword?”
“Even so, they say sleeping like that strains your muscles.”

Roderick frowned.

“I do not offer because I am ignorant of that. I am simply saying I do not mind the inconvenience.”
“Pardon?”
“I am merely looking for an excuse to hold you close.”

Lee-jae smiled and shifted her posture.

She tucked herself beneath Roderick’s arm, but he lifted her slightly and slid his arm under her head.

“We will likely spend many nights like this from now on, so find a comfortable spot.”

Lee-jae hesitated for a moment.

After a pause, she turned her back to Roderick and settled down.

He pressed close against her back into a steady embrace, looping his arms gently around her waist.

Lee-jae’s brow furrowed slightly.

A waist was a strategic vantage point, after all, where a hand could stray upward or downward at will.

Still, she bore it patiently, but when he hooked one of his legs over hers, she could endure no more.

She felt like a corpse pinned beneath him.

“I would prefer it if you moved your leg.”
“I will end up moving it in my sleep anyway. Is it truly necessary?”
“Do not excuse it with fine words. You are heavy, and I need room to toss and turn as well.”

Though she spoke playfully, her expression carried not only awkwardness, but a trace of loneliness.

She saw plainly that the King was trying his best to close the distance between them.

“Do you still find me uncomfortable?”
“No, not quite that…”

What would she do if he were like this now, only to suddenly come to despise her one day?

There was no need for him to try so hard to be kind. She was truly fine, and far more accustomed to being left alone.

When she hesitated on the verge of speaking, Roderick could not curb his curiosity and pressed, “Not quite what?”

In the end, Lee-jae kept her silence.

She had no desire to burden him with the baggage of her unfortunate past.

Sometimes such confessions only became a heavy weight for the other person to bear.

“It is nothing.”
“Why do you hold your tongue again? Do you not know how that drives a person mad?”

Roderick nudged Lee-jae with a look that made her want to retreat.

Even now, she marveled at the secret family art of getting under someone’s skin, wondering if it was a trait passed down through the Duncan bloodline.

Unable to let it go, he kept teasing and poking at her.

Finding it ticklish at last, Lee-jae laughed aloud.

“I apologize, truly. I genuinely forgot what I was going to say.”
“Truly? Then as your punishment, you must sleep quietly, understood?”

Roderick grumbled softly, tangling their legs together once more.

◆

End of chapter

Chapter 29

A Night for Evil Spirits

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