Chapter 63
The Instinct to Return Home (1)
“……I don’t dislike it.”
There was no conflict. It was a conclusion she had already reached. Even if she wasn't worthy of loving the last prince of the Gainerus Royal Family, Liene had decided to have him. She would lie for the rest of her life, if that's what it took to have him.
“Don’t delay. I don’t like that.”
“Two.”
“You don’t have to count.”
“I told you to think carefully.”
“Yes. That’s why you don’t have to count.”
“……Thr…….”
It was the moment Black's lips moved to form the number three. Liene raised her heels and covered his mouth with her hand. The hand with the thick bandage wrapped around it.
“Don’t count.”
“……”
The blue eyes looking down at Liene reflected fragments of all sorts of emotions, like still water.
“I didn’t really know what I wanted or didn’t want. Most of what I wanted were things that any Monarch of Nauk would desire. Like the end of the drought.”
Now, she felt it so acutely it hurt her heart. She wanted this man before her.
“Now I know. What Liene Arsak, not the Monarch of Nauk, wants.”
“……What is it?”
Black gently removed Liene's hand from his mouth and asked.
“You. And this marriage.”
Black, facing Liene, clenched his bandaged hand. He could feel a stinging pain in his torn palm.
“The reason the Princess is always so stimulating to me…….”
Liene swallowed the word 'painful' in her mouth. There must be a reason he was hurting her.
“Is because it’s uncertain. The lies other humans tell are clear, but sometimes I don’t even know I’ve been deceived. ……It makes me angry to think that those words that drove me crazy were lies. If you were going to lie anyway, why didn’t you do it better? So I could keep being fooled.”
“It’s not a lie.”
“That doesn’t matter anymore.”
Black twisted his lips.
“Did you forget? Only once. Whether it was a lie or not that you didn’t dislike marrying me, you will be my wife. Nothing can change that now, no matter what you do.”
“I…… I want it too.”
Black didn't seem to believe those words. He let go of her hand and said.
“As I said, your hand will hurt. While it hurts, think about why you got hurt. Once your hand heals, you won’t be able to hurt from the same wound again.”
“Lord Tiwakan…….”
“Then rest. I'll go cool my head.”
Bang! As if not wanting to be caught a second time, Black quickly opened the door and left the bedroom. Liene didn't have the courage to catch him a second time either.
“……That man is right.”
Only now did Liene press down on her palm, where the pain was slowly spreading. Only now did she realize she was hurt, and only now did it hurt.
“If I’m going to do it, I have to do it better.”
Such a lie that I know nothing about your past.
“I can do it.”
Liene closed her eyes tightly and muttered. Blood faintly seeped through the bandage wrapped around her palm. * * *
“This is clearly your fault.”
Bang! Fermos swallowed hard, casting a glance at the chair that had been smashed to pieces before his eyes. He had offered it for him to sit on, but Black had kicked the chair away as if to say he didn't want such a ridiculous gesture. He seemed to be in a mood that was worse than usual. The chair was completely shattered.
“I’m sorry, my Lord. I have nothing to say, even if I had ten mouths.”
If that kick had been aimed at his knees instead of the chair, he would have had to walk with a cane for the rest of his life. Just thinking about it made his skin crawl.
“That’s…… I never imagined she would be walking around the castle at a time when she should be hiding her identity. Ah, of course, I know it’s an excuse.”
It wasn't an excuse, but it was the truth. Mrs. Hinton, whom he had brought from the Kleinfelter Family, had escaped slavery, but that didn't mean she had regained her status. The name Hinton was still taboo. At least until the six families disappeared. Mrs. Hinton was the one who knew that fact best. But she wasn't crazy, and he never thought she would suddenly be running around the castle. The room at the top of the North Tower, which Tiwakan used as his quarters, could be called the safest place in Nauk at the moment, but Mrs. Hinton had kicked away that safety with her own feet. He had taken the Mrs. back to that room. This time, he had also assigned someone to watch her.
“……Did that woman tell the Princess my name?”
Fermos immediately shook his head.
“That’s not it. I’ve asked her several times, but the answer was the same. She wasn’t lying either. However…….”
“However?”
“I suspect the Sectarian said something. Although the Princess denies meeting the Sectarian.”
“……That must be it.”
Black nervously swept back his hair.
“We’ve grown apart again.”
Black spat out his annoyance between his teeth and sat on Fermos' desk, crossing his arms. The papers and documents scattered on the desk were crumpled under his butt. It was the first time he had ever seen Black express such annoyance.
“Um…….”
The God of War getting annoyed over a woman. That was a bit…….
“Will this cause any disruption to the wedding schedule?”
“No. That won’t happen.”
“Have you already come to an agreement with the Princess?”
“She said the marriage is what we both want. ……I don’t believe it, though.”
“I see.”
So that's why he's in such a bad mood. I see…….
“It must be true.”
Fermos said, fiddling with his glasses. Black turned his head towards him.
“What do you know?”
“The Princess said that the reason she was trying to save the Sectarian was for your sake, my Lord. Even if nothing else, she said her feelings for you are genuine.”
“If she knew my name, things would be different. Even if she wanted to be genuine, she wouldn’t be able to.”
“Is that um……. Because your two families are entangled in resentment?”
Fermos asked after rolling the dice in his head for a moment. It was clear that Black had no intention of talking about his past. But looking at how things were going, it was hard not to notice. If people like Mrs. Hinton kept popping up, the story would somehow find its way into his ears. Fermos' mind worked too well to just leave those clues fragmented.
“We did kill each other.”
“Ah, then…….”
Fermos somehow felt like he knew Black's name too. Gainerus. According to the royal records, that name existed before the Arsak Family. The missing records from 20 years ago would have contained the secret of why the royal family's name changed from Gainerus to Arsak. And judging by the fact that the records were gone, it was clear that it wasn't a very beautiful story. If it were, it would have remained proudly. Princess Liene seemed to have found out that unbeautiful part. Through the Sectarian, Klima. The fact that his mother knew the past meant that the Sectarian knew the same thing. When Liene was kidnapped, the Sectarian must have opened his mouth, and that's why Liene decided to save the Sectarian. So Fermos didn't really understand the two of them. Because it seemed true that Princess Liene had become genuine with his Lord. If the Princess was bound by the resentment of the past, she would have tried to kill the Sectarian to silence him, rather than trying to save him.
“Wouldn’t it be okay with you anyway, my Lord?”
“I said we killed each other, but I didn’t say resentment.”
“Not resentment?”
“I already said. I’m just trying to have her because she’s mine. If it were resentment, it would be the opposite of having her.”
Smashing it, or washing it away with blood. Neither was very difficult for the head of Tiwakan. He couldn't sympathize, but he understood. It wasn't resentment that moved Black.
“Then couldn’t the Princess be the same? Whether it’s resentment or whatever, she could become genuine. Isn’t that how relationships are?”
“That’s…… no.”
“Why do you say no?”
“Someone like that doesn’t grab and tear their wedding dress. To the point where they don’t even know their hand is getting hurt.”
“Hmm. That might be true……. ……No. I misspoke, my Lord.”
Fermos, who was about to nod in consideration of the possibilities, hurriedly shut his mouth and took a step back. Black's already grim expression twisted even more fiercely, clearly visible beyond his monocle. In times like these, it was best to hold one's tongue. Otherwise, he might actually find himself whittling a cane while weeping tomorrow.
“Then… what are you planning to do? The wedding ceremony is imminent…”
“It will proceed as planned.”
“Did Princess Liene agree to this?”
“Verbally.”
Black added bitterly.
“As I said, I find it hard to believe.”
“...Still, one never knows. People's hearts are complex things. With time, Princess Liene might come to think that the grudges of the dead are nothing to worry about.”
“...I'll have to wait, then. Longer.”
That was the problem. Black's patience was wearing thin. The stronger his feelings grew, the harder it became to control himself. Even now, if he closed his eyes, Liene's scent lingered at the tip of his nose. He was sometimes amazed that his limbs still moved properly; all he wanted to do when he saw Liene was embrace her.
“Bring the Sectarian here first. I need to know how much he's revealed.”
“Understood, my lord.”
“Bring him in as gently as possible. If he knows his mother is here, there shouldn't be any major issues.”
“Yes.”
“And prepare Manau. In accordance with the Grand Council.”
Manau was the old beggar in front of the temple. Fermos, who didn't know the old man's identity, clicked his monocle.
“By the way, who is Manau?”
Black glanced at Fermos as if to say, 'You didn't know that until now?'
“He was the Cardinal. Twenty years ago.”
“Ah, I see. The Cardinal… wait? The Cardinal, you say? Isn't the Cardinal of Nauk a lifetime position?”
Which meant that all former Cardinals had to die.
“That's why he's living in that state. Disguising his voice by pretending to stutter.”
“Um, my lord… I must say this.”
Fermos suddenly raised his voice, choked with emotion.
“It's exhausting to pretend not to know the obvious. So, am I to assume that I can proceed with the understanding that I know you were a member of the Gainerus Royal Family, yes?”
“I didn't think you wouldn't figure it out. It's surprising that you didn't know Manau's identity, though.”
There was a sense of injustice at the implication that he would have found out everything anyway.
“Couldn't you have just told me, yes? Instead of deliberately making me suffer more?”
Black's response came a beat later.
“...I didn't intend for anyone to know. Encountering names like Manau or Hinton was unexpected.”
That was the truth. He hadn't lied about anything except concealing his real name from Liene.
“I know my name brings blood. I didn't want that. I didn't want Princess Liene to see that side of me either. And it's the same now. ...No, it's worse now, perhaps.”
Black paused and let out a slow sigh.
“I wanted her to be mine as she was before, as much as possible.”
He wasn't foolish enough to believe that was possible after twenty years. There was no place for the name Gainerus in Nauk, and he would never be Prince Fernand again. He didn't want to live as royalty again either. The reason he wanted to take Nauk was a kind of homing instinct that he hadn't been able to sever completely in his childhood. Everyone wanted a home to return to. For him, Nauk was the only thing he could call home. But there was something that remained entirely his, just as it had been before. A betrothed who, to his young eyes, seemed infinitely mysterious and beautiful, as if she might spread her wings and fly into the forest.
