Chapter 87
87. Really Really Really Really2022.02.26.
I always make the same regret. Everyday life with my child is always precious, but why do I overlook it all in that precious everyday life? Why do I only realize its preciousness when I'm desperate? Even the day my child was in danger of being kidnapped, I only realized its preciousness after it happened. Jeong-o heard a brief story from Jin-seo, who was about to leave the hospital, about why Yena had collapsed. It seemed that other children her age had cornered her, saying she didn't have a dad. What did I do to my child? What did I do to a seven-year-old? Jeong-o also regretted looking back on the past. She taught her child that there was no need to be ashamed of not having a father. She thought that she had lived that way too, so her child would be able to overcome it well. But then, out of the blue, she revealed the existence of a father. She even corrected her confused child, telling her to call Ji-heon "Dad." And today.
“Yena's been crying too often lately. Let's not cry today. Okay?”
Crying is natural for a child, she's allowed to cry. Even adults cry when they're heartbroken. Just because her child has been tearful lately, she gave her a difficult homework assignment. She told her child to overcome her childishness. How hard must it have been? How heartbroken must she have been? Gi-hoon, who glanced at Jeong-o's tearful face, sped up. A desperate time for both Jeong-o and Gi-hoon. In the meantime, her cell phone vibrated again. This time it was Ji-heon. Jeong-o hesitated before answering the phone.
“Yes, Director.”
[I'm at the hospital. I called because I thought you'd be worried.]
Jeong-o closed her eyes tightly at Ji-heon's calm voice. Tears welled up in her eyelids and trickled down.
[Are you on your way to Seoul now?]
“……”
[Lee Jeong-o.]
“……”
[Jeong-o.]
A voice that calmed her heart was heard repeatedly. The sound stirred her emotions even more, and Jeong-o's voice became hoarse. Jeong-o barely managed to answer.
“……Yes, Director.”
[Don't worry. Yena is okay.]
“……”
[Come carefully. I'll see you later.]
Jeong-o, who was holding the disconnected phone tightly, finally shed tears. Gi-hoon, startled by the tears, asked in surprise.
“Did the Director say something again? Don't tell me he's telling you to work overtime even in this serious situation?”
“No, it's not that……”
She had to find an excuse, but words didn't come out well as if a stone had been placed in her head.
“The Director probably doesn't know. If he knows and tells you to work, he's trash.”
Gi-hoon, who interpreted Jeong-o's heavy reaction as he pleased, became agitated. Gi-hoon's heart ached for Jeong-o. Gi-hoon was determined. He had to protect Deputy Lee Jeong-o from Jeong Ji-heon, that heartless and ruthless boss, with his life.
\ Eun-yeop learned that Ji-heon had canceled all of today's schedule and rushed to the hospital.
‘Why? Why to the hospital?’
After contacting various people and persistently digging, Eun-yeop, who learned that Yena had collapsed at the academy and was taken to the hospital, also rushed to the hospital. Now, Jeong Ji-heon and Lee Jeong-o share the existence of the child. Eun-yeop could easily guess. Then what's the next step? He will definitely try to re-attempt the paternity test in the near future. Maybe it will be done at the hospital where the child is currently hospitalized. Ten out of ten, a hundred out of a hundred, he will ruin all of that guy's paternity tests. Fortunately, he knew someone at the hospital where Lee Yena was hospitalized. Someone quite close. Eun-yeop firmly told them to let him know if anyone requested a paternity test and left the hospital. \ Yena's hospital room. Ji-heon stared at the phone screen for a long time. He received a call from the counselor he had hired. It was a text message saying that Eun-yeop had suddenly visited the hospital. The name of the hospital where Ji-heon was staying was embedded in the text message. It was a serious situation where the child had collapsed, so he was just worried, but after checking the text message, he was so dumbfounded that he burst out laughing. Are they spying on each other? He was chasing the guy who was chasing him. Before he knew about Yena, he vaguely thought Chae Eun-bi was the problem, but now he thought Chae Eun-yeop was more vicious than Chae Eun-bi. Even as he looked at his phone, one of Ji-heon's hands was holding onto Yena's. He put the phone face down on the bedside table and focused on Yena again. He could see that quite a lot of the injection she was getting had dripped. The nurse had told him to tell her when about half of the injection was left.
“Yena, I'll go tell the nurse.”
Ji-heon said quietly to the child who was not yet awake. But the moment Ji-heon tried to pull out the fingers that were being held, he felt the child grip them even tighter. It was a weak grip that could have easily pulled out his fingers with just a little strength, but Ji-heon couldn't let go easily. It was as if the child looked desperate.
“Yena. Dad will be right back.”
Again, the child's hand tightened. Ji-heon couldn't move, surprised that the child was reacting to his voice. Is she hearing my voice in her dream? What kind of dream is the child having right now? \ There were times when things he desperately wanted didn't come true. He had given up first so as not to be disappointed.
“I wish I had a dad too.”
“Then shall I ask? To make our dad your dad too.”
“It probably won't work?”
One day, her friend Do-bin said he would share his dad. Yena's heart fluttered at her friend Do-bin's cheerful suggestion, but as always, she hid her excited feelings and said nonchalantly. She had to. Yena was always confident and nonchalant. She wasn't ashamed of not having a dad. Because her mom always protected her.
“Not having a dad isn't something to be ashamed of. The heart that makes fun of that is more shameful. If anyone makes fun of Yena, tell Mom and the teacher. Then Mom or the teacher will scold that friend. Okay?”
Thanks to her mom, Yena could talk about her dad without any problems. Even when the man asked about her dad, even when the director of the baduk academy, who didn't know anything at first, asked about her dad, the words "I don't have a dad" came out of Yena's mouth without hesitation. Those unhesitating words spread widely throughout the academy without Yena knowing. The story of her being the daughter of a single mother was added to her fame as a baduk prodigy. Some of the mothers who sent their children to the baduk academy envied Yena, and on the other hand, they took comfort in Yena's pitiful situation. I shouldn't have done that back then. I shouldn't have said "I don't have a dad" so loudly. No, I shouldn't have yelled at the man to leave that day he came to the house. I should have told the man that I got a cell phone this morning. I should have asked for the man's phone number. She kept thinking about the moments she regretted. The weight of life that a seven-year-old child realized pressed down on her eyelids. She kept closing her eyes even in her dream. In her dream, Yena was sitting alone with her dad, with a baduk board between them, in an aurora that wrapped around the whole world.
“Yena. You can't take back a bad move. But you can do better next time.”
Her dad in her dream said to Yena. Her dad in her dream changes his face every time. Today, he looked similar to the baduk academy teacher. There was a time when she wished the baduk academy teacher was her dad, and it seemed like that dream had come true in her dream. But even this disappears when she wakes up. It was as if her dad in her dream knew that she would miss him if she remembered him. He disappears. Always. Thinking that he disappears, Yena's heart beat even faster. Before she knew it, Yena's face was distorted. She said, sobbing.
“It's okay if I don't have a dad. But it's not okay if you disappear after being here.”
Don't disappear after being here. That's too scary.
“You said you can't take back a bad move. Don't do that either, Dad.”
If you've come all the way to my side, stay by my side. Don't leave. At the child's words, her dad in her dream only smiled and fumbled through the baduk container without answering. There was only one baduk stone in her dad's baduk container. No. If she picked up that baduk stone and put it down, this baduk game would end, and her dad would disappear too. Yena hurriedly got up and grabbed her dad's hand. At that moment, the baduk stone fell with a thud. \
“Yena.”
She opened her eyes, but her vision was still blurry. Only the man's voice she had heard this morning was heard quietly. Yena blinked slowly. In one hand that she was holding tightly, she was holding two of the man's fingers.
“Are you okay? Can you see Dad?”
She could see the man. The man who called himself her dad, whom she had met for the first time at the age of seven. Was it because the scary siblings she had met at the academy had disappeared, or because she had no energy at all? She opened her eyes in an unfamiliar space where neither her mom nor her grandmother was, but the only thing she could see was the man she hated so much, but surprisingly, she felt comfortable. The confession she had kept locked in her heart flowed out.
“I didn't know the phone number……”
“……”
“I couldn't call.”
Her mom told her not to cry, but as soon as she made a sound, tears flowed down without her being able to stop them. Ji-heon, surprised by the tears, reached into the bed and pulled Yena into his arms. Yena couldn't stop crying even as she leaned against Ji-heon's chest. Her face kept distorting like in her dream.
“I wanted to call, but I didn't know the number……”
“You…… wanted to call Dad?”
“I bought a cell phone……”
“……”
“The kids told me to call Dad……”
“Call Dad every day. You can.”
Ji-heon said as he calmly stroked Yena's back. Yena's tears briefly subsided at Ji-heon's low, resonant voice.
“Really?”
“Of course. Of course. Call anytime. I'll answer anytime.”
“No.”
Yena shook her head at Ji-heon's answer. That wasn't what she wanted to ask.
“Are you really my dad?”
The phone wasn't the important thing. In the end, it wasn't the phone. The most important thing was.
“Really really really? Are you my dad?”
“I'm your dad.”
A real dad who will never disappear again. Ji-heon nodded firmly.
“Really really really really.”
“……”
“It’s true. He’s really my dad.”
“……”
“He’s Yena’s dad. Dad is, really Yena’s dad.”
Huuuuuuu. Waaaaaaaah. She wasn’t sad anymore. But an even bigger cry burst out. That same stubborn cry she gave her mom filled the hospital room. Yena slapped her dad's face and whined resentfully.
“Why did you come so late.”
Just the childishness of a seven-year-old. Even as Yena slapped him, Ji-heon smiled gently and hugged Yena, patting her back.
“Why did you come so laaate. I missed you so much.”
She missed her dad, whose face she didn't even know. The face of her dad in her dreams didn't come to mind when she woke up. Do I not have to change Dad's face anymore? Can I say I have a dad? Can I call Dad whenever I want? Can I do it all? Is it okay to do it all?
“I’m sorry. Dad’s sorry.”
“……”
“I’m sorry for coming late.”
Ji-heon hugged Yena tightly and gently stroked her back. The solid warmth she felt again. Inside that broad chest, her dad's voice echoed as loudly as the whole world. Her dad was smiling. Or maybe he was crying.
“Dadddd.”
Yena also reached out and hugged her dad.
