Chapter 5
5. First Sight, At First Glance 2021.05.15.
I had thought about it. Seoul couldn't be infinitely large, so I figured we might run into each other someday. Jeong-o had imagined that coincidence. And she steeled herself. Even if she did encounter him, she wouldn't waver. She wouldn't cry, laugh, or get angry. She wouldn't hurt. She wouldn't say she had hurt a lot. She would treat him as casually as possible. If they passed by, they would pass by... She had resolved herself to that so many times. But her heart pounded as if it were broken. No, it felt like her whole body was malfunctioning. She couldn't move. She didn't even have the strength to shake off the arm he had grabbed. Even though tears threatened to spill, she couldn't even cry freely, as if he had blocked everything about her. Their eyes met, each capturing the other's face. Unlike Jeong-o, who could barely breathe, Ji-heon was indifferent even after confirming her face. An expression that showed no joy, surprise, disgust, or embarrassment. An expression that looked at nothing. ...What on earth could I say here? As a myriad of emotions flashed through her mind, Ji-heon straightened her up. Jeong-o's legs were still trembling. She wanted to collapse. Before the situation became awkward, Mi-ran introduced Jeong-o to Ji-heon.
“Director. This is Lee Jung-o, a copywriter in Production Team 2 who joined the company today.”
“Ah, a copywriter.”
He didn't even raise an eyebrow and recited her position instead of her name. Was that all I was to you? She was surprised, embarrassed, and felt empty, but her lips still wouldn't move.
“Nice to meet you.”
He calmly extended his hand for a handshake. Jeong-o slowly moved her gaze to look down at his hand. It was as if a thick line was drawn over the tips of his fingers. It was as if he was saying that he was sorry to meet her like this, but to keep her distance. Jeong-o hesitated, then slowly reached out her hand. She couldn't help but feel her hand tremble. The man she had met again after seven years. The hand she held again after seven years. His large hand, big enough to cover her entire hand, was still the same, but she no longer felt the warmth that had once been there.
‘...So this is your answer?’
I mustn't cry. She clenched her teeth and swallowed her emotions. Only after confirming his reaction could she recall her long-ago resolution. She would treat him as casually as possible. She wouldn't break down. She raised her head and looked at him. Eyes as dark, dry, and cold as a desert night. The deep, soulful eyes that she had once loved so much were no longer there.
‘You've really changed a lot.’
So much that he seemed like a different person... Jeong-o decided to accept reality. Soon, his hand fell away. He, who had not revealed any emotion, calmly walked away. Only then did a long sigh escape from her lips. Her legs gave way, and she had to lean against the wall next to her.
“Are you okay?”
Team Leader Seong Mi-ran, who was standing next to her, asked.
“Ah, yes. I'm fine.”
Jeong-o quickly replied and stood up straight. What should I do now? Can I even work at this company? Realistic worries followed. She felt like the inside of her scalp was drying up. With a dazed mind, she was led by Team Leader Seong Mi-ran and soon arrived at the team's workspace.
“This is our team. Copywriter Lee Jung-o.”
Mi-ran introduced Jeong-o to the team members. Two people in the team stood up from their seats.
“This is Chief Park Young-gwang, our team's PD, and this is Song Gi-hun, a graphic designer.”
Only after Mi-ran introduced the two did Jeong-o come to her senses.
“Hello. I'm Lee Jung-o, a copywriter.”
“You're a Deputy Manager. Welcome.”
“Wow! Hello!”
A man who looked to be in his mid-30s and a man who looked to be in his 20s greeted her in turn. Both had friendly impressions. However, the woman who didn't stand up and only slightly turned her head to the side had a sullen expression.
“And this is Go Eun-ju, a graphic designer.”
“Nice to meet you.”
Eun-ju nodded her head slightly and then looked back at the monitor. Her expression didn't match her words of "Nice to meet you." Jeong-o had a feeling that company life wouldn't be easy.
*
“I don't want to! I don't want to learn Go! Waaaaah!”
Do-bin sat down in front of the Go academy building and cried his heart out. Passersby glanced at him furtively. To the child, the Go academy seemed like a slaughterhouse rather than a place of learning.
“Will you stop crying right now?”
His mother, Jin-seo's voice also rose. They had become a spectacle for the passersby, but there was nothing she could do. Last week, the child had sat next to his father, who was watching a Go broadcast, and asked him questions. They were questions about the rules of Go. The seven-year-old's questions were quite insightful. It seemed like the child was interested in Go, so she asked him if he wanted to go to an academy, and Do-bin nodded excitedly. So Jin-seo was also excited and looked into academies and even registered him. But, after going for just one day, the child grumbled that it wasn't fun. Today, he even burst into tears. Jin-seo also felt like crying. The academy fees were a waste. She wished he would go for at least a month. Jin-seo barely managed to calm her rising emotions and coaxed Do-bin with kind words.
“Son. Just sit there for 30 minutes and come out. If you go and learn for just 30 minutes, Mom will let you play games for 30 minutes.”
“...One hour.”
“Okay. Go quickly and come back.”
In the end, only after attaching a sad condition did the child wipe away his tears. She felt like she had been tricked. Watching her son's back as he opened the academy door with shoulders slumped as if he had lived a lifetime, Jin-seo sighed deeply. She wanted to be a good mother. Not even a great mother. She thought her child would be good at everything. She thought he would do everything smartly before she even told him to, and if she taught him one thing, he would understand two, three, or four things as a matter of course. Because he listened quite well until he could understand words. Children don't grow up as you want them to. They only want to do what they want to do, they only want to eat what they want to eat, and besides, how can a seven-year-old be so strong? Regardless of how pretty the child is, it's inevitable that she feels drained from time to time, or rather, often. And so, she came to realize a painful truth that no one had told her. That the one thing that was absolutely necessary to become a 'good mother' was a 'well-behaved child.' Sniffle, sniffle. Hmmm, hmmm. Do-bin had entered the academy on the condition that he would get to play games for an hour, but he was sniffling again. It was the elementary school students' lesson time, so everyone was in the classroom. Another teacher was there, but he was helping another student with problem-solving. Do-bin was abandoned. He had to live like this for at least a month, but he couldn't bear it at all. He had to endure for 30 minutes anyway...
“Hey.”
Then, a girl sat down in front of Do-bin, who was sniffling. Do-bin raised his head and looked in front of him. She was a pretty child with big eyes and a fair face, like a doll.
“Don't cry, look at this.”
She looked like a prim and proper princess, but her voice was as clear and beautiful as a carol song. Such a child suddenly told him to look at the Go board. Do-bin obediently lowered his eyes and looked at the Go board. On that Go board, the girl placed her hand, which looked like a maple leaf.
“Try doing this.”
Do-bin followed the girl. Then, the girl suddenly placed Go stones one by one on the back of Do-bin's hand. He didn't know why she was doing this. Do-bin, who had stopped crying, asked in confusion.
“What is this? Why are you doing this?”
“If you drop them, you get a flick on the forehead.”
The girl filled the back of Do-bin's small hand with Go stones. It was a flower with five white petals on black eyes. When the girl giggled after making the flower, Do-bin completely forgot that he had been crying.
“I'm Yena, what's your name?”
“...Park Do-bin.”
Even as he answered, Do-bin was nervous that he would drop the Go stones. Yena asked again.
“You go to Nightingale Kindergarten, right?”
“How did you know?”
“I saw your bag yesterday.”
...Were you watching me since yesterday? Yena's eyes, filled with laughter, sparkled like jewels. It felt like the flower blooming on the back of his hand was floating towards his heart. Just before his tense arm completely stiffened, Yena took the stones off Do-bin's hand. As if playing freeze tag, Do-bin was finally able to move his body. Yena said as she took down the Go stones one by one.
“Look at this. This is a white stone, and this is a black stone.”
“I know that.”
“Do you want to be white or black?”
“Black.”
Do-bin answered all the questions she asked as if he were bewitched by her. If she asked, he felt like he could tell her his home address, his mother's, father's, and sibling's names. Yena, nodding her head, brought the black stone container in front of Do-bin and the white stone container in front of her. And she placed a white stone in the center of the Go board.
“Then I'll put it here.”
“......”
“Do you know how to capture this?”
This question was difficult. But he could easily recall his father's answer from a few days ago. Do-bin surrounded the white stone with four black stones, blocking its liberties.
“Oh. You know how to play Go?”
As if that ordinary move was something amazing, Yena praised Do-bin. Do-bin's face turned as red as a rose. The flowers that had flowed into his heart formed a bouquet. She was a child who smelled like flowers.
“Why are you crying if you know how to play? Don't cry.”
She said. Seven-year-old Park Do-bin. This was the first woman in his seven years of life. Outside the academy. Jin-seo anxiously waited for her son. Her son, who she thought would run out after 30 minutes, hadn't come out for over 40 minutes.
‘Isn't he still crying?’
In the end, Jin-seo opened the academy door and entered.
“Do-bin.”
“Mom!”
Jin-seo breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of her son smiling brightly with a face that was completely different from when he had entered the academy. The teacher also greeted Jin-seo with a happy expression.
“Do-bin's mother, Do-bin is adapting very well.”
“Oh, really?”
It was the most touching compliment of all. She hugged her son, who had run to her side, tightly to express her feelings.
“Then, teacher, please take care of Do-bin tomorrow as well.”
“Yes. Mother. Don’t worry.”
“Do-bin, you should say goodbye.”
“Goodbye.”
Do-bin politely greeted the teacher and shouted loudly into the practice room.
“Yena, goodbye!”
“Okay, goodbye!”
A pretty girl waved her hand from the practice room.
‘He’s already made a friend.’
The mother felt proud of her son’s sociability. Jin-seo, who came out of the academy, asked Do-bin.
“Son, how was the academy? Was it fun?”
“Yeah! A lot!”
Do-bin replied with a flushed face.
“What was the most fun?”
Her smile was fun. Her voice was happy. Mom wouldn't know this happiness. Do-bin, who couldn't answer easily, asked a different question after a long time.
“Mom, did you fall in love with Dad at first sight?”
“Where did you learn such a thing?”
Jin-seo asked with a smirk.
“Do you even know what that means?”
“Yeah. I know.”
Because I just experienced it!
“Mom, I’m going to work hard at the Go academy!”
Do-bin shouted with emphasis. It was the beginning of first love.
*
Ji-heon, who had been out on business, leaned back in his chair, furrowed his brow, and closed his eyes tightly. A woman he had only briefly encountered once had been on his mind all afternoon... A copywriter from the newly established Production Team 2. What was her name? A woman who looked at him with wide, startled rabbit eyes on a pale face. The woman was pretty, but to say that was why he was interested, it seemed insufficient to explain his feelings with just that. A woman whose eyes showed various colors like dragonfly wings. It was as if those wings had fluttered precariously and fallen into the water. It also seemed like she was just breathing, overwhelmed by the wings that were soaked in water. A woman who was desperately enduring that moment. The impression she showed in a short time was very diverse. That was a little, no, very... unpleasant. Those damn dragonfly wings couldn't block the well-flowing stream. It felt somehow uncomfortable and stuffy. She was a woman who made him feel strange.
Knock, knock. A knock was heard.
“Yes.”
The door opened in response to Ji-heon's answer. Seong Mi-ran, the team leader he had encountered in the hallway in the morning, came in with documents. It was the preliminary expense application and the list of people selected for the Competitive Presentation they would be participating in this time. Among the names he remembered, there was one name that bothered him. Lee Jeong-o.
“Team Leader Seong, the new team member in your team is a copywriter, right?”
Ji-heon asked about her casually while signing the documents. Mi-ran replied.
“Yes. Are you talking about Assistant Manager Lee Jeong-o?”
“Did she get a health checkup before joining the company?”
Mi-ran's eyes widened as if asking why he was asking such a thing. But she answered immediately.
“I haven’t checked separately, but she probably had it mandatorily.”
“She looked like she was about to collapse suddenly, and when I grabbed her, she was trembling.”
“……”
“It seems like there’s something wrong with her health.”
Mi-ran made a blank expression again at Ji-heon's opinion.
‘Is he worried about his employee?’
A man who hadn't even smiled once in the week since his appointment. She thought he was heartless and scary, but it seemed that wasn't entirely the case.
“Isn’t it because the director is too handsome?”
Mi-ran also loosened her stiff muscles and made a joke. She wanted to get along well with the new head of the division. Not with the intention of standing in line behind him, but simply because she wanted to enjoy her work.
“Do you think I’m the kind of person who enjoys such flattery?”
However, the reply that immediately followed was terrifying. Mi-ran pressed her lips tightly together. She felt like all the hairs on her body were standing on end at the sharp gaze that seemed like it would tear the document paper apart.
“Bring Assistant Manager Lee Jeong-o here.”
A strange order was given to Mi-ran, who was regretting inside for bringing up unnecessary words. Mi-ran stared blankly at Ji-heon. The head of the division had mentioned that he would have individual interviews with the employees of the same division. But nothing had been done yet. Was he starting that interview? With the employee who transferred today as the first one? As a team leader, she wanted to know the purpose, even if briefly, so she opened her lips again.
“What is it for, Assistant Manager Lee Jeong-o…”
“Bring her.”
However, Ji-heon mercilessly cut off her words. He had only one thought.
“Now.”
That he had to see her again right now.
