Chapter 35
- Saying I Love You 2021.08.28.
Bae-il, who had been quietly waiting for Jeong-o's tears to stop, eventually bought more snacks from the convenience store.
“You seem to have a lot on your mind. Because of the unsolved long-term case.”
Bae-il said, filling the glass with liquor. Jeong-o, who had barely stopped crying, sighed deeply and opened her mouth.
“The sea witch in The Little Mermaid, you know. She might actually be a sage.”
Bae-il blinked at the absurd topic. With his gaze becoming blank, he looked even more innocent.
“Do you know why the sea witch took the Little Mermaid’s voice? Because if the Little Mermaid said just one word, the sea would turn into a sea of blood.”
To such an innocent person, Jeong-o spoke with a chilling voice like a witch.
“If the Little Mermaid said, ‘I am the Little Mermaid, I lived in the sea with my dad and sisters,’ what would happen? We’d be able to see a mermaid family in the aquarium within a year. The sea witch protected the safety of the sea world.”
Her voice, preaching the cruel reality, was solemn and serious. I, too, have no choice but to remain silent for safety. Because I don’t know what impact the truth I’m holding onto will have on your family and mine. Bae-il’s expression became thoughtful. Jeong-o, thinking that he might be taking her absurd story too seriously, subtly warned him.
“Don’t tell this story to the kids. Let’s keep it just between us.”
“Ah… yes.”
Bae-il’s reply, just like his image, was clumsy. Venting to someone who didn’t know her situation was quite effective. After emptying a bottle of soju, her heart felt a little lighter. It felt like she could shake it all off and live well again from tomorrow. Although she was afraid of running into Jeong Ji-heon.
“Officer, thank you so much. As expected, the people’s police are the best.”
Jeong-o said, raising both thumbs.
“No problem. I’m glad I could be of help. Then, please go safely.”
“Yes! You should go in quickly too, Officer!”
Jeong-o bowed in response to Bae-il. However, despite the cheerful greeting, an awkward situation continued. Haha. Haha. Because they kept going in the same direction, they would awkwardly smile when they met while walking, and awkwardly greet each other again when they met again. After walking for a few more minutes, Jeong-o spoke.
“It looks like we’re going in the same direction.”
“That’s right. My house is across from the Lemon Laundry over there.”
“Oh? The 6-story villa over there?”
“Yes.”
“I’m in the 5-story villa next to it. We’re neighbors! It’s so reassuring to have a police officer as a neighbor!”
As Jeong-o revealed her delight, Bae-il finally smiled as well. He looks even more handsome when he smiles. He must be very popular at the police station. Jeong-o also smiled contentedly, scrutinizing Bae-il’s face.
“What do you do, Lee Jung-oh?”
“I’m a copywriter.”
“Oh. That’s cool.”
“I’m still struggling in many ways, though.”
“Still, it’s amazing. You’re raising a child alone and working too.”
“I’m getting a lot of help from my mom. Ah, Officer, are you married?”
“No. I live alone.”
“If you don’t have a girlfriend, can I set you up with someone?”
“No. It’s okay. I prefer being alone right now.”
Bae-il neatly declined. Well, there must be plenty of people making such offers besides me. Jeong-o decided to just be satisfied with having a police officer as a neighbor. It was a reasonably okay night.
* The next day. Ji-heon, who had gone to work early in the morning and returned from an external meeting, finally returned to the company late in the afternoon. Before going out on business, he had a lot to sort out, so he couldn’t greet Jeong-o even after spotting her in the morning. He was planning to find an opportunity to talk to her quietly after coming back, but she wasn’t at her desk.
“Where did Assistant Manager Lee Jung-oh go?”
He asked Gi-hoon, who was sitting next to Jeong-o.
“She went to the studio for a radio commercial recording today.”
“Tell her to stop by my office when she gets back.”
“Director, there’s a Tawon Liquor new product tasting event today. Everyone will be moving there a little later. Assistant Manager Lee will also be coming straight there after the recording.”
At Gi-hoon’s words, a weak sigh escaped from between Ji-heon’s lips. He had clearly remembered it until yesterday, but after hearing Lee Jung-oh’s shocking confession, his mind had gone blank. He couldn’t understand what this feeling was himself. He found out that he didn’t resemble her father. Okay, that’s fine. He could understand the lie too. Anyway, she didn’t want to have the frame of resembling her father. But, she said he resembled her ex-boyfriend? Is that true? When he pretended to be her deceased father in front of her once, he realized that what she had said wasn’t ‘Dad’ but ‘Oppa.’
‘How much do I resemble him? Enough to be mistaken for him momentarily when drunk?’
No, was her thought process completely broken down when she was drunk? Either way, it was bitter. He realized that being said to resemble someone wasn’t very pleasant. Yet, he was anxious about the fact that he might be cut off from her if there wasn’t even such a connection. On the one hand, he was angry at that ex-boyfriend. What terrible things did he do and leave that made her cry so much until now?
‘Could it be… that guy passed away?’
Recalling her tears, he couldn’t rule out that possibility. How should he ask about her ex-boyfriend? How much should he ask so that the other person wouldn’t be offended?
‘I’m even worrying about things like this now.’
Because of Lee Jung-oh. Me. While feeling complicated about all of this, Ji-heon hurriedly finished his work for the tasting event. And he got in the car without being late. While being driven with his chauffeur, his phone vibrated. Checking it, it was his mother, Ms. Jang Young-mi. He ignored the first call. But he couldn’t ignore the second one. Ji-heon sighed deeply and answered the phone.
“Yes, Mother.”
[Son, are you busy?]
“Yes. I’m on my way to an advertiser event.”
At his mother’s affectionate voice, his voice also softened. But his expression was coldly hardened. As always.
[Are you eating well? Are you not sick anywhere?]
“Yes. I’m healthy. How about you, Mother?”
[Oh dear, my stomach isn’t good, so I’m suffering a bit. Even a little stress makes it hard to digest.]
“Did you go for a checkup? Take your medicine regularly.”
[Yes. Thank you. Are you doing okay?]
“It’s always the same, I guess.”
[Eun-bi came to the house yesterday. She just had a cup of tea and went back without anything happening, but I’m a little worried. Are you two having any problems these days?]
His expression severely crumpled at the name Eun-bi. She caused such a fuss at the company and then ran to his mother. But he couldn’t talk to his mother about his relationship with Eun-bi right now. He was frustrated that he couldn’t say a single word properly because he was worried about his mother’s health.
“……Aren’t you?”
“No. I’ll tell you soon.”
Youngmi and Eun-bi have been close for quite a long time, so it will take a while to sort things out. Ji-heon thought that he should visit Youngmi someday.
[Mom just feels uneasy when her son says that.]
“……”
[Don’t make Mom and Dad too worried. Ji-heon, you know Mom’s heart, right? We’re doing this because we all love you. You know?]
“Of course.”
[Are you sure you really know?]
“Of course. I also…….”
[…….]
“Love you.”
He spat out a confession that wasn’t sincere in order to end the call quickly. Thanks to the cringeworthy love confession, the call was able to end relatively quickly. Ji-heon turned off his phone. While three years’ worth of memories had disappeared as if cut off with scissors, quite a few memories from a long time ago had been revived. Was it when he was nine years old? There was a friend he wanted to become close with. He was a cheerful, smart, and talented friend. They took Go genius classes together at school, but after his mother confirmed that he was friends with that friend, she made him stop taking the classes.
“I heard he doesn’t have a dad. If you hang out with kids like that, you’ll get bad influences.”
Ji-heon couldn’t understand the bad influences that a child without a dad had. So he argued with his mother several times. But he couldn’t change the result.
“Your mom called my mom. She told her to please not let me play with you.”
One day, his friend said that. When Ji-heon became stubborn, Ms. Jang Young-mi directly called the friend’s mother. That was the first time he hated his mom. Youngmi said to such Ji-heon with a pitiful expression, as if he would understand everything someday.
“You shouldn’t hate Mom. She’s doing this because she loves you.”
That's what love was, a means of exploitation. Every moment of interference and severance was accompanied by the label of love. Saying I love you. That goddamn saying I love you. So Ji-heon didn't want to attach the word love to his desires. As he came to hate the word love, nothing became an object of affection. Therefore, there was nothing precious.
“You have nothing precious. Everyone who has passed you by is insignificant to you.”
His friend Seung-gyu's stinging remark was completely true. So, was that why? Even if the memories of seven years ago, the memories of three repeated seasons, disappeared in chunks, was it because I had nothing precious that I was so indifferent? Recalling the empty past made his stomach ache. Before he knew it, the car had entered a small road in Haengdang-dong. He had heard it was a unique pub near the university district, but the driver tilted his head as if the road was unfamiliar. Ji-heon, who suddenly glanced out the car window, felt a jolt in his head and stopped the car.
“Please stop here.”
“We still have a little further to go, Director.”
“I'll walk from here. I have a headache.”
Ji-heon got out of the car. A season approaching summer. Before he knew it, the days had grown longer, and even though it was past 6 o'clock, it felt like midday. It would be unseemly to arrive at the tasting event too early, so walking slowly was a good choice. Ji-heon took out his phone to check the location. While turning the phone back on, he looked around. He didn't know anything, but on the other hand, it felt somehow familiar. It wasn't like he knew anyone living in Haengdang-dong. Somehow, he was drawn to move his steps as his heart led him. With each step he took, he felt like he was getting further away from the tasting event, but he couldn't give up. As he walked aimlessly, he suddenly came to his senses and realized he was in a strange place. It was a university district Studio apartment village with old villas huddled together.
‘Why am I here?’
Just looking at the surrounding scenery made his eyes sting and his heart flutter. What on earth did I lose? * Jeong-o was out all afternoon. Team Leader Seong Mi-ran took good care of Jeong-o. Mi-ran, who noticed that something big had happened to Jeong-o yesterday, kept an eye on Jeong-o to prevent Jeong-o and Ji-heon from running into each other, and Jeong-o and Eun-bi from running into each other. Thanks to that, she was able to spend the day in the recording studio listening to the honey-dripping voice of Seong-woo. In the evening, there was a new product tasting event at Tawon Liquor. The recording ended earlier than expected, so Jeong-o, following Mi-ran's instructions, didn't return to the company and took a bus directly to the tasting venue. The tasting venue was close to the university Jeong-o graduated from. The road was familiar, so she felt strangely excited. She had plenty of time, so she stopped by the school and strolled around the campus. The last time Jeong-o roamed the campus was in her third year of university. After that, she took a long leave of absence, and when she returned, she only took online courses. The end of her third year of university was a very harsh winter for Jeong-o. A body that was slowly changing. A man who didn't contact her at all. She huddled in her house and one day came out and walked aimlessly. It was a time when the media was talking about abnormal weather. It was clearly approaching winter, but forgetting the season, flower buds were sitting on the trees. Watching the flowers that had bloomed wrongly because of a moment of warmth, Jeong-o cried her eyes out. She had foolishly believed in love. She had believed in a love that she had never even said she loved. It was so hard that she wanted to die at the time, but seven years is truly amazing.
‘Now that the past doesn't matter anymore, Mr. Jeong Ji-heon.’
As she walked away from the campus, she came to the house where she used to live a long time ago. There were several new buildings around, but the Studio apartment building where Jeong-o lived was still there. She was genuinely happy to see that house. Grieving memories that had nothing to remember. She was smiling gently as she recalled seven years ago. When someone's footsteps pounded like hitting her heart. Suddenly, she felt nauseous as if the morning sickness of that time was reviving, so Jeong-o put her hand on her chest and turned her head to find the source. Jeong-o's eyes widened. He was there. A man with eyes reddened like the swaying sunset of this season, was silently staring at her with an expression as surprised as hers.
“...Why is the Director here...”
Why are you, how are you here... Her eyelids swelled up transparently, capturing the scenery where he was standing. Her heart was suddenly pounding so painfully that it felt like it was screaming to be saved. But she was still choked up and couldn't say anything more. They met again like people visiting the anniversary of the deceased. Me, who lost you, and you, who forgot me.
