The Top Student Hides Her Regression
Chapter 8
“What I said isn’t a curse, it’s a prophecy. Please think before you act. Some choices affect you for the rest of your life.”
Wow. Terrifying.
Even at twenty-nine, a delinquent like Song Yeo-reum still scared me. Seeing how I felt, I could hardly blame the other kids for never standing up to her.
I discreetly wiped my clammy hands against my skirt.
My hands trembled.
You really can’t underestimate the atmosphere in a place like this.
They weren’t mobsters, nor were they chaebols. I knew they were nothing more than high school bullies, yet being trapped together in this collective called school still made me terrified.
Clenching my trembling hands into fists, I forced my chin up.
“You think these days will last forever, don’t you? Give it just one year. Everyone will be too busy studying to care about you.”
By then, the mood won’t be in your favor anymore, and swept up in the panic to get into college, you’ll be wandering between cram schools and study rooms until two in the morning.
Too bad that by the time you regret it, it’ll already be too late.
That college guy who strutted in on graduation day claiming he’d take care of you for the rest of your life, giggling as he cracked an egg over his pregnant, underage girlfriend’s belly?
He ran off to the military three months after the baby was born.
You’ll raise that child all alone. Unable to attend the university you fought so hard to get into.
Even after cutting off all contact with my classmates, that piece of news still reached my ears.
It was truly a shame I couldn’t spoil that for her right now.
“They say you don’t even bother a dog while it’s eating, so do you really want to do this to someone who was in the infirmary this morning? Get a grip, please. You’ve got about four hundred days until you appear on <Teen Parents>.”
I shut my mouth there because Song Yeo-reum’s expression turned downright murderous.
“Wow…”
Letting out a hollow laugh toward the ceiling, Song Yeo-reum looked back at me.
“Hey, you really are asking for it.”
With a smirk, Song Yeo-reum raised her hand sharply—just as Doyeon rose from her seat.
“Stop it.”
As if she had been waiting for that, Song Yeo-reum shoved Doyeon’s shoulder.
“Stop what? You kept your damn mouth shut this whole time, and now that one loser took your side, you think you can step up?”
Has she got a gutter for a mouth or what…?
Spewing profanity, Song Yeo-reum raised her hand again.
However.
“Hey. Seriously, knock it off.”
This time, Seo Jae-gyeom stepped in.
Seo Jae-gyeom, who had been sitting by the window with his friends, strode over. Stepping between Song Yeo-reum and me, he forcibly brought down her raised hand. His face was full of irritation and sheer annoyance.
“Song Yeo-reum. I hate noise while I’m eating.”
“Was I the one being loud?! Kang Da-hye started—!”
“Right. So shut up.”
“No, Kang Da-hye did it!”
“I said you’re being noisy.”
“Damn it…”
“What.”
He didn’t seem to be taking sides or mediating; he genuinely just looked annoyed.
Faced with Seo Jae-gyeom’s look of utter exhaustion, Song Yeo-reum merely muttered curses under her breath without talking back.
Sighing at the spectacle, Doyeon picked up her barely touched tray and briskly walked away. I quickly followed after her.
“Hey, where do you think you’re—!”
“Song Yeo-reum. I told you to keep it down.”
“Seo Jae-gyeom, why the hell are you butting in all of a sudden?!”
“Because you’re loud.”
Boys or girls, no one dared challenge Seo Jae-gyeom. I didn’t know what got into him (though it was probably just the noise), but I was relieved he stepped in.
As I left the cafeteria, I caught Jisu’s eye and mouthed to her:
‘Sorry!’
I’ll buy you chocolate milk later! For real!
Where Doyeon and I ended up was the wisteria bench by the school field… or rather, just the stands.
Heading toward the bench, Doyeon noticed a group of kids gathered there in clusters, pivoted, and plopped down on the stands instead.
Trailing hesitantly behind her, I promptly sat down next to her.
Without even glancing at me, Doyeon spoke.
“Do you know what I hate most about eating alone?”
“What?”
“People looking at me.”
“Ah.”
“It feels like I’m eating with a sign posted on me saying I’m an outcast with no friends.”
“……”
“Why did you help me?”
You could become a target just like me if you mess up, so why did you help? Doyeon’s eyes seemed to ask as she looked at me.
I rolled my eyes slightly.
“…Because it helps me too?”
Because I end up living a truly miserable life for the next eleven years.
So I spent countless hours agonizing over whether I was suffering karma for doing something wrong.
Wondering if I was paying the price for my sins.
Whenever that happened, your name was always the first to come to mind.
I always regretted never standing by your side.
Whether it was God or something else, they must have turned back time so I could live as a better person…
“I just don’t want to do things I’ll regret anymore.”
“What?”
Unable to understand, Doyeon frowned.
“It’s nothing. Um… there’s no grand reason. I just did it because it’s the right thing to do.”
I looked at Doyeon’s face—the girl who would die in two months.
Despite everything, I had survived to reach twenty-nine, while your time was forever frozen at eighteen.
Because none of us had the courage.
If even one person had acted differently, everything might have changed.
“I’m sorry I took your side so late.”
Even though I clearly knew right from wrong, fear made me look away.
I’m sorry I turned a blind eye to your pain. I offered an apology that was already far too late.
Staring at me intently, Doyeon asked,
“Why are you crying?”
“Just… sniff. Because I’m sorry.”
“Did you bully me? Why should you be sorry?”
“Everyone probably feels sorry toward you.”
“I doubt that.”
Seeing me sniffle, Doyeon pulled a tissue from her pocket and handed it to me. “Thangk yoo,” I nasalized, taking the tissue.
So much for the dignity of a regressor. Bawling my eyes out in front of someone eleven years younger.
“Not everyone thinks like you, Kang Da-hye. Some kids don’t even have any connection to me, but they still bump shoulders with me on purpose in the hallway. Ever since I became someone ‘it was okay to treat like that.’”
“Sniff… What? Are they insane?”
“They saw their chance. They already hated the sight of me, and now the mood makes it okay to bash me.”
“Have you never thought about reporting them for school violence? I mean… Song Yeo-reum and her crew.”
Did someone say your mother was a prosecutor, or a judge? Anyway, I knew she worked in the legal field.
It was a fact I only learned after the police showed up at school following Doyeon’s death, though.
Yet Doyeon shook her head.
“I don’t want to disappoint my parents.”
“They wouldn’t be disappointed over something like that.”
“I know. But I just don’t want to say it. That Mom and Dad’s proud daughter can’t fit in at school. That when everyone else gets along just fine, I’m the only one pushed out. How could I say that?”
“I understand.”
Because I’d felt something similar before.
That everyone else passed, but Mom’s daughter failed again.
That when everyone else is doing just fine, you’re the only failure. In moments like that, the words really won’t leave your throat.
“Still, Doyeon, it’s not your fault.”
“……”
“You did nothing wrong. Not a single thing. You’re just an innocent victim.”
“……”
“You don’t have to feel grateful just because I took your side today, either. I only did what was natural. There’s no need to walk on eggshells around me or force yourself to do things you hate just for my sake.”
“…Like what?”
“Um… like if I asked to borrow your shoes, and you didn’t want to lend them… but you forced yourself to because you worried I wouldn’t be your friend anymore if you said no?”
“You heard about that too, huh?”
About her getting cursed out for refusing to lend her shoes. Doyeon smiled. I laughed too, mid-tears.
“I mean, asking to borrow them is one thing! But if you get turned down, you accept it and back off. What kind of behavior is that?”
“Right? It was honestly so pathetic.”
“Even a real pauper like me stays in line, so who does she think she is?”
I rarely ask to borrow things from people. If I borrow something and lose it, I don’t have the money to pay them back. As we giggled, the March sunlight cascaded down between Doyeon and me.
The rays were still chilly, yet unmistakably destined to grow warmer soon.
“I hate kids watching me more than eating alone.”
“Still, you didn’t starve yourself—you came down to eat every single time. You already won right there.”
“Why would I starve? For whose benefit?”
“Exactly!”
“I’m not dating a teacher.”
“Ah, of course you’re not! Are people crazy?! What do you lack that you’d ever date some middle-aged guy?!”
“I have a lot of clothes. If you ever want to borrow some, just let me know.”
“I’m good. I have a school uniform too.”
“Do you wear your uniform when you hang out after school too?”
“Yeah, my uniform is practically glued to my body.”
“Our uniforms aren’t even pretty.”
“Still, this was bought with real money, and we can only wear it for three years. Gotta get my money’s worth.”
“Isn’t three years a lot of wear?”
“I’m still carrying the backpack I used in elementary school, you know.”
“…When’s your birthday? I’ll buy you a bag as a birthday present.”
I’ll buy you two.
Doyeon declared.
That was Woo Do-yeon’s way of saying thank you.
* * *
“Next period is math, right?”
“Yeah. We’re both in Class A, so we can grab our books and go together.”
“Okay.”
“Though Doyeon, I might drop down to Class C next semester…”
“What are you talking about? You’re the school’s top scorer.”
“For now, yeah.”
As Doyeon and I walked down the hallway chatting casually, stares showered down on us from all sides.
Ignoring them, I smiled even more brightly on purpose and slid open the door to Class 1, where math Class A was held.
Rattle.
And right then, my eyes locked dead-on with Seo Jae-gyeom, who was perched on Jisu’s desk, looking down at her homework with a smile.
