The Top Student Hides Her Regression
Chapter 16
“What do you mean by that?”
“Can I be honest with you?”
“Of course.”
“The kids are badmouthing you. Saying you’re acting all high and mighty.”
“Badmouthing me? Who?”
“The kids in our class.”
“……”
The kids in Class 1 really have trash personalities.
Jisu bit her lip before continuing.
“I know. The ones talking trash are the weird ones. But it’s not like the other kids are actively taking your side either, Kang Da. Even if they think what you did was right, they only keep it to themselves. It’s dirty and cowardly, but… if this keeps up and you end up like that too, Kang Da…”
“Like that?”
“I mean… like Woo Do-yeon.”
“Ah.”
Being bullied and outcast.
From the moment you arrive at school in the morning until the moment you leave, you can’t talk to a single soul all day. Everyone around you is laughing and chatting happily, while you’re the only one keeping your mouth shut, all alone.
Being ostracized.
Just sitting still while kids glare at you with disdain, whispering and giggling behind your back whenever you walk past.
Going crazy with worry over what they might have said.
Taking turns giving presentations, only for the room to turn dead silent and cold when it’s your turn.
Feeling mortified and humiliated.
Jisu probably knew this even better than I did. She had taken the Advanced Class with Doyeon last year, after all.
Jisu’s hand reached out and took mine.
“What you did in the cafeteria yesterday, Kang Da, I think it was amazing. I really do. But it doesn’t have to be you taking the lead like that.”
“……”
“You could just quietly talk to her from behind the scenes, hang out outside after school, Kotalk her… It’s more than enough to just be close secretly like that. Woo Do-yeon would understand, and she’d be grateful to you. You don’t have to make a big fuss. If you get targeted too…”
Honestly, she was scared of that happening, Jisu whispered.
I quietly recalled my memories of Song Yeo-reum.
‘Hey, friend, lend me five thousand won.’
‘You don’t have any? Really? Then what’s that in your pocket?’
‘Look at that, you do have it!’
‘Lie to me again and I swear….’
‘Whoa, just kidding~ Hey, look, she’s totally freaked out!’
‘Whoa, crazy. She’s crying.’
‘Hey, Seo Jae-gyeom. I think she likes you?’
‘Did you buy new clothes to look good for Jaegyeom? Is that why you have no money?’
That was a memory from my second year of middle school.
How could I remember such specific lines when well over ten years had passed?
Because memories of being humiliated by your peers at such a sensitive age don’t easily fade.
The humiliation of not being able to utter a single word while my friends were watching. The friends who knew what was happening but pretended not to notice. The shame and wounded pride.
Rubbing the soft back of Jisu’s hand, I spoke.
“…To be honest, Song Yeo-reum came by Mom’s shop yesterday.”
“Song Yeo-reum came to your mother’s shop?!”
“…Yeah. She and all her friends were looking down on my mom and mouthing off… I truly understood what it felt like to have your blood boil backwards.”
But if I hadn’t regressed, if I had been too terrified to say a single word to Song Yeo-reum—
That memory really would have haunted me for the rest of my life.
A mixture of disappointment in myself and resentment toward Mom for failing to protect me… all sorts of emotions would have completely shattered my mental state.
“Luckily, yesterday’s me was able to tell Song Yeo-reum off and kick her out… but if I hadn’t, I probably would’ve still been hurting over yesterday even when I turned fifty or sixty.”
“……”
“Yet Doyeon is going through that every single day right now.”
My eyes met Jisu’s. As she flinched slightly, I said,
“Jisu, it’s not like I’m some incredible adult, but… being able to empathize with someone else’s pain is what makes us human.”
“……”
“I want to be able to stand proud before myself.”
I don’t want to live the rest of my life as someone who, at twenty-nine years old, turned a blind eye to an eighteen-year-old friend.
“If I just stand by when I clearly know it’s wrong, I’d feel like such a pathetic loser.”
I’m going to live a cool life.
Getting a perfect score on the CSAT and going to Hankuk University is ultimately all so I can live a cool life. What’s the point of any of it if I back down just because I’m scared of being badmouthed?
I didn’t regress just to live such a lame life.
Knowing full well what kind of end was coming, I couldn’t just save only my own life and walk away.
And besides.
“There may be kids who disapprove and talk behind our backs, but there are definitely kids who know this situation is wrong and want to help.”
Kids like Kyung Sein from our class, for instance.
“The only reason people are scared of Song Yeo-reum’s gang is because of the atmosphere they create. If none of the kids are afraid of them, what can they actually do?”
“……”
“We just need to win over public opinion. A general consensus where the kids who feel this is wrong speak louder.”
You’re just scared I might get hurt, Jisu, but you actually know this is wrong, don’t you? When I asked her that, Jisu nodded.
She wore a peculiar expression, deep in thought.
“Yeah… I know.”
“Then that’s enough.”
“…Yeah.”
Good, then.
“Jisu, also… by any chance, is it uncomfortable for you to eat lunch with the three of us together with Doyeon? I was so out of it earlier that I didn’t get a chance to ask.”
“I’m fine with it, but… Doyeon’s probably the one who’d be uncomfortable. Because if Doyeon and I are together, the kids talk even more trash about her…”
“Ah…”
“Or should I eat with my classmates for a while? I don’t mind doing that.”
“Then I’d feel way too bad…”
“Don’t be. Kang Da’s trying to do something good.”
“…Thank you.”
“…I’m not avoiding her because I’m scared of Song Yeo-reum, okay?”
“Of course I know that.”
“Still, why didn’t you tell me right away yesterday? About Song Yeo-reum coming by.”
Pouting, Jisu asked why I was only telling her now.
Sticking a straw into the chocolate milk Jisu had bought, I finished grading the test paper whose answers I had already memorized completely.
Jisu, who had been rummaging through her class’s test papers beside me, rejoiced when she saw her own paper had a perfect score.
“The kids who badmouthed you, Kang Da, all got terrible scores.”
“Really? I should go tell them. To study geography instead of talking smack about me.”
I don’t care about kids badmouthing me.
They’re the type who would talk trash no matter what anyone does anyway.
There are bound to be far more righteous kids who know this situation is wrong than kids who are just bitter about everything in the world.
And soon enough, I would learn that my belief was not mistaken.
“Song Yeo-reum’s probably even more pissed because I used to get shaken down by her for five hundred or a thousand won every day, and now I’m suddenly getting uppity, don’t you think?”
She sure talks loud about having her lunch money extorted.
Passing by, Eunseong clicked his tongue.
He was on his way to the company after a consultation with his homeroom teacher.
He was hurrying along because he was late, but voices could be heard from the counseling room attached next to the teachers’ room.
The door to the counseling room was closed, but the top window facing the hallway was open.
For Eunseong, who wasn’t tall… but was at least average height, catching the sounds leaking through that window was no trouble at all.
“I even had my danso taken by Song Yeo-reum back then. In front of the crosswalk while holding it on my way home from school.”
“Really?”
“You don’t remember? You were right next to me back then. Song Yeo-reum asked to borrow it, but it was obvious I’d never get it back, right? So trying to save face in my own petty way, I just told her she could have it.”
“Ah, right…”
“Gross. What’s she even gonna do with a danso covered in someone else’s spit? Hope she catches COVID.”
“What’s COVID?”
“It’s a curse word.”
Peeking through the gap in the door, Kang Da-hye was sitting with her friend.
Her mouth chattered away while her hands diligently wrote something on paper. Her hands were seriously fast.
“Honestly, I’m still scared even now. But I don’t really know exactly why I’m scared of them. It’s not like they’re chaebol daughters who can ruin my life, and I’ve already learned that Song Yeo-reum can’t do anything if I come on strong. Still scary, though, huh?”
He was in a rush, but his feet stopped on their own.
Standing rooted to the spot, Eunseong scrutinized Da-hye’s face.
And then.
‘Isn’t that the punishment she got with that not-handsome bastard?’
Recalling what had happened in the classroom earlier, Eunseong furrowed his brows.
‘Where did Jae go that she’s doing it all by herself?’
Getting her money extorted.
Getting her danso stolen.
Serving the punishment all alone.
A total pushover.
‘Why did I even bother eavesdropping? What a waste of time.’
Shaking his head, Eunseong brushed past the counseling room. Mid-stride, he looked up at the ceiling and let out a dry scoff.
“Ha!”
What a pushover!
As expected, Seo Jae-gyeom did not come to school after that day.
For some reason, neither did Song Yeo-reum.
According to Sein, who had been snooping on Chasebook, she had gone out somewhere to hang out with some close oppas.
“Why did only Song Yeo-reum go? Her friends came to school.”
“She probably just wanted to hang out with the oppas by herself.”
“She really has zero loyalty.”
“You expecting loyalty from a delinquent?”
Chuckling, I packed my phone and notebook.
Finally, it was the end of this eventful week: club time!
Pop quiz.
What club am I in?
(1) English Newspaper Club
(2) Hanbyeoldan
(3) Peer Counseling Club
(4) Drama Club
(5) Mystery Club
